Recognizing my Chronic Disorder

When I was back in DC a few weeks ago I had the opportunity to go see my therapist to discuss some issues that had just began with a close friend. Near the end of our session she said something that has had me thinking since I returned, but it became very evident this weekend. A lot of times we fail to recognize chronic disorders in our own lives.

For several years now, me and a close friend have had a very cyclical friendship. One that was often more one sided than others, which is quite odd for two people that are supposed to be so close. The job I had that actually required me to relocate back to Atlanta and that whole catastrophe that came of it, sent me into a depression that I often hid from others… but when the new job came through, he was the second person I called (after my best friend Rey back in DC)… and I got “O great… busy at work will call you later to get details”. Hmmm ok… still haven’t gotten that call several weeks later.

Another call… “oh we are going out this Saturday to go welcome Damian to Atlanta and celebrate the new job.”… “Oh I can’t I have an out of town guest.” Ok like that bitch don’t have to eat too.

Anyway that list can go on but you get the point.

So in the session Dr. Taylor said to me if this person continuous to let you down… why do you continue to have expectations of them. (see number 4) She then said we often are the last to see the chronic disorders in our lives and always the last to make that change…

Anyway I say all this to say this weekend Kool and myself went to this house party (damn that boy’s house was hot) and my friend happened to be there with his crew, who had befriended me when I moved down. So as I spoke to everyone, less him but not in a really noticeable way (childish I know but I wasn’t thinking that at the time). Later his boyfriend comes up to me and ask me why am I being mean to my friends… my reply to him was… “the status of our friendship is his decision not mine.” Now I leave the party looking like the asshole. So in case he ever reads this… I apologize for my naivety.

I told him when I got back from DC, that I no longer had any expectations of him and that we were still cool. His reply to me was how can he fix this… I said that is up to you. And still no response… no action.

Weekend lesson: Recognize your chronic disorders… let it go… and always be the better person.

A Work in Progress

www.eventsbycw.com

The new web site is almost complete. The content is currently going through some edits and I have some new pictures I want to add but I couldn't hold out on showing this off...

Much thanks to my good friend, web designer, and photographer Steven C. Evans for creating this web site and being able to work me. You can check his work out at http://www.stevencevans.com

Big Brother is watching...

I never really pay attention to the statistics of visitors to my page but this week I have found out that more people are visiting my page and reading my thoughts than I would have imagined. Earlier this week I got a Yahoo IM from a friend of a friend... who commented on a recent post I had made. This totally took me by shock, because I would have never assumed that he even knew I had a blog.

Then today my bestfriend back in DC calls me to inform me someone was asking about comments to my blog and also inquiring why there are no pictures of him from the White Attire Affair. This too took me by shock. I had told him awhile back that I blogged but I never knew he would read it or even the person that called him about it.

The first thing that came to mind was.... O shit what have I been blogging about. Well at first thought, I was at ease because I always change the names of most of the people I blog about to protect their privacy. Then I remembered the original reason of why I started this blog... as somewhat of an extension to my personal journals. Like the title of the blog says this is about my writings, my thoughts, my life... so now I must make a conscious effort not to censor my postings knowing that my readership extends far beyond what I originally imagined.

And to those I know if you ever read something that moves you in some way, there is always the comments section... but just remember my writings... my thoughts, my life... my HisStory

Random Thoughts this Friday morning...

Just some random thoughts and lessons that were running across my mind as I drove in to work this morning:

• Why is Project Runway the best reality show on tv? Finally people with real talent.
• Everyone that says they are your friend is not your friend. Everyone that smiles in your face is not your friend. Cause people will hang out with you on Friday and be sleeping with your potential on Saturday... (and yes I am referring to you)
• Let your true friends know you appreciate them. The past 3 months have been quite difficult for many reasons and 3 of my friends that don't even live here in Atlanta have definitely come through for me and have been the best support system.
• With no expectations, you can't be let down. For years I have been wondering why someone who was a close friend would never follow through and would always let me down well I have released the expectations I had on our friendship and now I feel like things are a lot better.
• Why am I happy I get to look at the Ryan Rankin dance yet another week on So You Think You Can Dance... not normally my type but he has a sex appeal about him... maybe flexibility.
• If one more person says they are tired of the games to me I swear I will scream. If everyone is tired of them, why is everyone still playing them.
• Why do you get involved with other people but then claim you are not over your ex just as an excuse so you can continue to ho. Be real be honest. Please refer to the item above.
• Why is it so hard for people to put the toilet seat down and not piss all over the toilet when they are visiting, if it is that hard sit down and piss.
• Why did this idiot assume I was being bougie because I said I don't go to the southside of Atlanta. I dont know anyone over there, I don't work over there and gas costs too much for me to try and meet anyone over there.
• Why do I still fill the alcohol in my body from this past weekend... that alone is enough to make me want to give drinking up.
• Why do people hit you up ranting and raving about some issue assuming you want to hear about it. Unless it is positive keep that shit to yourself cause I don't want to hear it. I have enough negative shit to worry about on my own to be hearing about yours.
• For Atlanta to be so big and to have so many homosexuals why do I keep running into people who know my friends, in the biblical sense of "known". Or is it just that the blog world is so small.... hmmm
• Why do my friends want to talk to me about their dead-end... nonsense filled relationships and then when I say get out, they say I just don't understand. Yep I don't understand why you deal with shit when you don't have to. I rather be alone and at peace then with some fool and unhappy.
• So now that TD Jakes has convened a Georgia Dome fill of church folk for his huge MegaFest convention... will the punk clubs be filled too???
  
  
  
  

Oh What a Weekend

Well as you read in the posting below I was back in DC this past weekend for the White Attire Affair and to hang out with my old friends.

The weekend started early on Thursday, with a jazz reception at the FoodBar DC to promote the weekend's White Attire Affair. After a few drinks, a little food, and even more drinks I ended up at the Bachelor's Mill for yet a few more drinks. Friday was spent running around the city seeing friends... finding out one is 2 months pregnant was the biggest shocker. A couple house parties that night led us to the Edge... for my final spin on the dancefloor before it is bulldozed and a former memory much like Traxx. (And thank you to my dance party for the weekend... seeing you was definitely a highlight for the weekend and you still owe me lunch!!)

Saturday was spent in the bed recovering... and the evening was spent with the crew at the 8th Annual White Attire Affair. Now this was my first time ever going even though I lived in DC for 7 years. Now as an event manager by trade, I of course saw somethings that were awfully wrong... such as no set dance floor in the General Admission area, not enough bars, too much light, and the acoustics were horrible for Rachelle who seemed to be in her own world while performing. And why was there only house and old school music in the VIP area... so not cool.

Sunday began with brunch and cocktails and cocktails and more cocktails at the Manderin Oriental.. then a cookout by Howard.. and yet another club... needless to say on the plane ride home on Monday and work today, I was not a happy camper. But I loved being back in DC and can't wait to get back this October.

Go Goin Home

This Saturday will mark 3 months that I have been living back in Atlanta. But this Thursday, I will be heading back to DC for a weekend of partying and hanging out with my friends in the Nation's Capital. Shopping in Georgetown... Sunday Brunch... the Metro... accessibility of the Washington Post... djs that play a mix of hiphop, r&b, go go, and reggae music... crab cakes made of crab...

Of course I have already been in contact with my boys back in DC... getting the weekend lined up. So far there is a cocktail reception on Thursday... a house party and the Daryl Wilson's Bounce party at the Edge (especially since it will be closing soon) on Friday... the White Attire Affair on Saturday... and brunch and Daryl's Sexy Sunday party which has moved from Love to Mirrors rounding up the weekend. I am sure by the time I get on that flight heading home on Monday afternoon I will be good and wore out...

damn do u have any dark friends
--Posted by Anonymousto His Story 7/05/ 2006 10:07:26 AM

LOL Trent. Better claim your man. You know how some can be. Seems like you had a great time and I have to ditto anonymous' question, "damn do u have any dark friends" LOL. Anyway you make a cute group and glad you weren't lonely over the holiday.

--Posted by Ty to His Story at 7/10/2006 02:17:49 PM

What is with these crazy ass comments??? Why would one assume just because they see a picture that just happens to be filled with a group of people of lighter complexion that I wouldn't have any darker complexion friends??? Why would you even question that... unless you yourself have issues with skin complexion???

For the official record... I do have friends of darker complexion... I don't choose my friends based on their complexion but based on their personality, attractiveness, financial status, and other things that you can now dissect...

We as African Americans must get beyond skin complexion... we have so many other internal issues that complexion should be the last on the list. When someone of another race looks at me they see a black person first not a light skinned/high yellow/red bone or any other crazy ass description one comes up with to further divide us as a group.

Weekend Wrapup

I swear this seems to have been the longest weekend ever. Like the weekend that just kept going and going and going. But I will say I had a great time and spent way too much money.

The weekend began on Friday... me and Scorpio went to see The Devil Wears Prada. And let me say that movie is classically funny. I think that the writers made a really good adaptation of the book. A brief walk around Atlantic Station and a nice ride home pretty much ended the evening for me. While I was out on the movie date, my good good friend Damian finally arrived to Atlanta from DC with the help of our friend Tony. After a brief session of catching up.... they pumped it to the club and I pumped it to bed.

Most of Saturday was spent at a friend's family cookout. It often amazes me how relaxing it can be to be around family... especially when it isn't yours. Can you believe after eating and watching Madea Goes to Jail... we all went outside and played kickball. Now I haven't played kickball since I was in elementary school back in Texas... but to see a group of grown ass men and women getting really competitive in a game of kickball was quite funny. That evening the crew got together for drinks at my spot then we hit it to Atlanta Live. That had to be the third time I had been to that club since being in Atlanta and the first time I have actually enjoyed it. Was also good to see Emory... a new acquaintance of mine (more on that later).


Kool, B, Reddman


Sunday, the crew came over to play some spades, eat and drink before another night out... this time the Boom Boom Room. As you can see from the pictures it was one ole good time. That night I actually ran into a guy that I had met three years ago in Puerto Rico. We danced and danced... talked and talked... and made a lunch date for the next day.... ooooo the Artist takes my breath away sometimes.

Kool and my bestfriend


Kool aka weedy


My ATL crew

Well Monday... yeah the crew went out again. But this evening was quite eventful... at the first club, Fever, that we went to I finally got to see Serious and Flimsy, from Kool's blog as well as meeting the infamous Papi and Kool's ex. And all I can say from that is Papi is definitely his type... Flimsy is very flimsy... and well ummm thats all I will say on that.

Tuesday we made plans to meet up at Phipps Plaza mall to watch the fireworks... but the rain had other plans. No 4th of July fireworks for the city of Atlanta this year but the crew definitely made our own this weekend...

Kool has chosen this as the theme song for the weekend...

CONCEITED (Remy Ma)

Video Code provided by VideoCodeZone.Com

A Legacy for Sale

This past week's Sunday Paper carried the cover story of Atlanta's most precious legacy going up for auction. Only months after the death of Corretta Scott King, Dexter and family have put the personal papers of Atlanta's most famous son on the auction block at Sotheby's in New York. In the 1990s, Mrs. King unsuccessfully sued Boston University in an effort to have returned thousands of documents her husband had deposited there for safekeeping in the last two years of his life.

The King family has attached a condition to the sale that the collection of papers will never be sold individually until "the death of the last to die of the four children of Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr."

The group of papers includes more than 7,000 handwritten notes about everything from President Lincoln, to Ghandi, to interacting with everyday life. It also includes a telegram from Muhammed Ali he received while in jail and a letter from President Nixon he received while in the hospital after an attack.

Just yesterday it was announced that SunTrust Banks, urged on by Atlanta Mayor Shirley Franklin, agreed to provide a $32 million loan that will allow Morehouse College to retain title to the collection. Among the guarantors of the loan and donors are listed playwright and film director and fellow Atlian Tyler Perry, Turner Broadcasting System, Coca-Cola, and Home Depot. Others also pledged $1 million or more including Arkansas-based WalMart.

But I am left to question, why would his family sell his part of his legacy to the highest bidder, when you have his alma mater, Morehouse and the King Center right here in Atlanta??

Cocodorm/Flava Life owner in the news yet again...

Feds probe Miami gay adult video producer for fraud
Saturday, June 24, 2006



MIAMI — The owner of a Miami-based company that produces gay adult videos and lifestyle magazines is the target of a federal investigation for allegedly defrauding public schools out of millions in a scheme involving a nonprofit student organization. Flava Life, a gay entertainment magazine for black and Latino men, is owned by Phillip Bleicher. Another company he founded, the Student Leadership Network, is under federal investigation for allegedly defrauding schools out of millions. Bleicher allegedly cashed bogus checks after persuading school officials to sign up for his program, which was promoted as offering leadership programs for students, according to Harpreet Khera of the Illinois Attorney General’s Office. Bleicher adamantly denied any wrongdoing and said a competitor in the adult video business was spreading lies about him and his company. “The allegations against me are absolutely false,” he said. Bleicher also owns Cocostore.com, which produces gay black and Latino porn videos. Bleicher is also facing allegations that his adult video business paid models more to engage in unsafe sex after his operations were shut down by the health department in Chicago.

Remembering the 80s...

For some reason I woke up this morning thinking about summers of my childhood. Part of the summer I would spend in west Texas and some in the bayous of Louisiana. I can remember hot breakfasts every day... playing outside in the hot ass sun... etiquette lessons at Ms. Ann's house... crawfish boils... and music.

Regardless of what side of the family I was with music was always very important. I will never forget when my cousin Chris first showed me Whitney Houston's video on tv.

Oh and you can't forget Prince's 1999, Purple Rain, and my absolute favorite Under the Cherry Moon (is that on dvd yet??)

Michael was still considered to be sane and unstoppable!!

But TV was big too... I couldn't wait till Thursday nights to catch the Cosby Show

Ooooooooooh and you can't forget Eddie was at his best

And of course Grace Jones was killing it in a View to Kill

Dating In Atlanta...

My good girlfriend, Nicolle, was here visiting this past weekend from DC and of course she wanted an update on everything going on in the ATL... well after cluing her in on the job, the apartment, my bestfriend... the conversation went to dating in Atlanta.

After reading my good good friend Kool's page and the 200 dates he has had in the past 2 weeks, I decided to blog on dating in Atlanta.

I guess I will work backwards... I started talking to Scorpio weeks before moving to Atlanta. The conversation was always very platonic. I told him from the very beginning that I was interested in someone in Atlanta... and was trying to see if it would develop into a relationship or just a friendship. He was very respectful of that. Well after talking for over 2 months now on IM and on the phone and saying we should get together and hang out... well we finally did Monday. We hung out in Little 5 Points and had pizza (might I add the best calzone I have had in ages) then went walking up the very eclectic collection of shops that has everything from American Apparel to grunge stores. The conversation kept flowing so we decided to walk around the East Atlanta neighborhood as well... he lived nearby so the evening ended with us sitting around at his spot talking, laughing and watching tv till I noticed how late it was and decided to start my journey back up to the north side. In a cell convo while walking around, I heard him say he was on a date.... I was like wow ok didn't know that but cool. Very platonic nothing happened but I developed a new friend.

He called me the next morning and asked me if I wanted to check a movie out. After checking my quite empty calendar I said yes and last night we saw An Inconvenient Truth, the Al Gore movie about global warming. Finally someone inviting me the new to Atlanta guy out to do something or to hang out. He gets mad points for not being passive and choosing a movie that was thought provoking.

Then there is the Dominican... Kool brought him by my spot one night we were playing spades. He needed a hook up on a hotel room in Puerto Rico so we exchanged numbers and I told him to call me Monday and I'd handle it. Well that call led us to having lunch every day that week before his trip and a couple evening dinners and hanging out as well. Now he is only 24 which would normally be a turnoff when it comes to seriously dating someone but he seemed to be mature and about business. Well after his trip... the focus turned from me to his roommate and him feeling left out. The last straw for me was when I got back from my Cabin trip... i suggested we go to dinner or something... and he asks if his roommate could hang out as well. We are still cool and see each other frequently but he took a step back from number 1 position to just a contender.

So speaking of Cabin trip there is OoooNotSupposedtoHappen. Well I met this fool weeks before while playing volleyball in Piedmont. Well I couldn't stand his attitude and he was short... very much Kool's style not mine, now that I think of it but I digress... well during the trip to the cabin, me, him and another guy stayed up till 4am talking about everything. From that point on I realized he wasn't so bad. We have hung out twice since being back.. he is a basketball fan so we caught game 3 and 4 together. Nice people but only on the friendship level I think for now.

Then there is KravinATL... well I don't know what to really say about that. We talk sporadically and is still very special but I guess the lack of distance has changed alot. But definitely always a contender in my heart.

Like other ATL people who shall remain nameless I have met a few people recently... unlike that person there have been only a few dates and I am unsure of what if anything will come from it. Why are people so indecisive and passive. I need someone who is gonna speak up go for what they want... shit I am tired of being the one hunting prey. But I will say the life of a socialite can be hard work!!

20 Years Old.... Can we still "Call On Me"

Janet features Nelly on her first single, Call On Me, from her upcoming album 20 Years Old...

AOL Says Don't count her out. This laid-back and sexy jam is destined to put Ms. Jackson back on top.

Listen to 'Call on Me'

White Party 06 Atlanta

3 Parties... 3 Nights... One Cause

(Click Picture to see Larger)

For more information email rsvpwhiteparty@hotmail.com

White Attire Affair 2006 DC

(look at my brother-n-law matthew all the way on the left)

The Ummah Endowment Fund is proud to announce
live and in concert on the main stage at the 8th Annual White Attire Affair

World renowned recording artist!

RACHELLE FERRELL

&

America's Only Next Top Model

EVA PIGFORD

For More Information and Tickets visit WWW.UMMAHFUND.ORG

A Weekend Getaway...

Anyone that truly knows me, knows I am not the outdoors type. For me an adventure outdoors is maybe a outside shopping outlet. The only hunting I am doing is a parking space in the concrete jungle. Fishing for compliments... maybe.

Well this past Thursday, I tagged along with my bestfriend and some of his friends and friends of friends to the mountains of Pigeon Forge, Tennessee. His friend Bobby plans an annual weekend getaway to the mountains to celebrate his birthday with about 20 of his friends. This year 24 of us all got together in a luxury cabin overlooking nothing but trees, trees, and more trees. Now from what I have heard out of the 7 years they have been having this trip this is one of the best cabins they have actually been in. Three stories, 8 bedrooms, 6 bathrooms, 2 jacuzzis, 2 pool tables, air hockey, and a swimming pool.

Thursday was definitely a chill day... I spent most of it trying to remember names and how this person is connected to Bobby and lounging around the cabin. Friday we went to Dollywood's water park, which was quite fun and I ended up a lil darker than before. Saturday and Sunday morning were spent lounging, swimming, drinking, partying, and eating. While I have never been in the company of so many people in one house at one time it was definitely a good weekend overall (was only annoyed once because we left Atlanta 2 hours later than we were supposed to).

I look forward to planning my own trip back up there in the near future with some of my own friends.

A Year Later...

I didn't realize until I was having a conversation with my friend Kool that it had been a year of blogging for me. To think this time last year I was returning to DC from San Juan with an amazing tan and new friends. In one year's time so much as changed men have come and gone... jobs have changed... but the biggest change was my relocation back to Atlanta.

I started blogging for two reasons my therapist said it would be healthy and after reading Valentino's blog I thought it would be interesting to say the least. I think that I have accomplished what I set out to 52 weeks ago and hope that I have the drive and inspiration to go on another 52. But from the experiences of Atlanta so far I am sure inspiration will not be the problem.

Check out a few of my favorite entries:

My First Entry

Katrina

My Favorite Things

Why Are You Still Single

Off to Georgia

Being a Black Man

The Washington Post (ooooh how I miss DC) is in the midst of a year-long series exploring what it means to be a black man in today's society. Several updates are coming this Sunday to the series so be sure to check it out often....

Being a Black Man

Say

Sooooo feeling this song right now... so I thought I would share.

Say - Method Man featuring Lauryn Hill

They got so much things to say right now....

They got so much things to say it

The List

Several years ago me and a friend made a list. This list started out as a class project of where we saw ourselves in 10 years. While creating that list we started talking about relationships and the respective men we were both dating at the time. She went on to ask me if you could create your ideal man... not Mr. D (at this time in my life I thought he was, so a lot of the list reflects that)... but your ideal man what 10 things would he be... she recently emailed me my list...

1. Must be comfortable in their own skin. White, Black, Brown or Tan.... Gay or Bisexual.... Muscular, Slim or Average... just comfortable being a man.

2. Educated... not always about degrees and prestigious universities.

3. Employed... not a job a career!! There is a difference.

4. Sex Appeal... hell I gotta want it. And appeal is more than how you look... it is what you make me think.

5. A connection with God... don't have to be on the deacon board but faith and belief is necessary.

6. Must have been hurt once... nothing like loving someone who has lost love before.

7. Aggressive and Out Going... I do not like overly passive people.. speak up for what the hell you want.

8. Wants to grow... and grow together.

9. Believes that romance is still alive.

10. A Sense of Humor... make me laugh when I don't want to but need to.


Almost 9 years later and not much has changed about this list... Thanks Alicia!!