Was that a boy?

Every Sunday when the weather is nice... the gays flock to Piedmont Park in the heart of Midtown Atlanta for an afternoon in the park. The parade of people usually begins mid afternoon and continues till nightfall. Every Sunday you can expect to see the unexpected... whether it is Ms Sophia from V103 sans wig and dress... to the dude with the 5 dogs wearing sunglasses (if you know this guy please tell him that shit is corny and played as it was several years ago when he first started doing it)... to the sexy bodies (and some not as but still) blading their way past you... And then you have your spectators, commentators, and guest judges that take posts along the winding path, watching, cackling, and cruising as the people mill about.

I have been visiting Piedmont Park for longer than I would care to think about right now and boy has it changed. Piedmont use to be the gathering place after church and dinner right before you beat it downtown to hit the Palace for a early evening of dancing and drinks. The parade was a lot simpler then... you had your masculine gays, the queens, the lesbos, and the transgenders. But now trying to figure who is what and what is who has become so difficult that I am thinking of starting my own tv game show.

One friend suggested that the blurring of gender identity is a good thing... I have failed to see his argument. I think it is quite sad to see that most young gays are confusing sexual identity with gender roles. I often think that most young gays have a construed idea of what is being gay by the lack of realistic gay images in the media and their lives. The media is an extremely powerful tool - television, radio, newspapers, magazines, advertising and more so now the internet not only have the capacity to educate, inform, include and challenge millions of individuals; but for many people, this media provides their first images of gay sexuality. It has the ability to provide all people with positive role models, and can help them realise they are not alone. However, the media can also be damaging to gay people, reinforcing and perpetuating negative stereotypes.

How often do you see a real depiction of gay life and gay people on tv? And how often do you see the over the top, fem queen characters that are usually doing hair, snapping fingers, or the gay sidekick? I think it is these images that are causing a mild form of gender identity disorder in today's youth. I am by no means saying I have a problem with fem boys or butch girls. I have a problem with people thinking that is what it is to be gay. And I think a lot of young gays have a huge misconspetion of what is gender identity and what is sexual identity.

Yesterday, as we sat and watched the parade go by, one friend turned to another and asked was that a guy or a girl... "adam apple, thats a boy,"he replied. Which led to my question, "Do they come in boy anymore?"

Weekend Wrapup

So this weekend was a usual weekend for me... random things going on and not enough sleep and rest. As I sit here at my desk this Monday afternoon the only thing I can think of is... a 2 hour nap under my ceiling fan on low with the black curtains pulled tightly shut to hide the sun.

Friday was a postponed birthday night out on the town. Since I spent my actual birthday with my mother, me and my good friend ventured out to Towers night club for several rounds of drinks and a little people watching. The club was very blah but when you are in the company of good friends and Grey Goose all goes well.

Saturday was spent on the Charlie Yates Golf Course with the Ryan Cameron Foundation (for the nonATL people Ryan is a local radio host on V103) at their annual Youth Golf Clinic. A colleague got me involved with the RCF a few months ago and this was my first community service event with them. It was good to see the celebrity and local business people taking the time to go out on the course with kids and truly enjoy it. But to see Ryan and his wife Kysha really enjoy this work, made my volunteering worthwhile.
By the end of the day my allergies and the sun had gotten the best of me and the highlight of my Saturday evening was an 1130 trip to WalMart (have I ever discussed how much I hate WalMart) with my friend and neighbor, Roddy.

By Sunday morning I was still feeling the affects of my grass allergies and the sun and was not up to getting up for church so I laid in bed until the afternoon when me and Roddy went out to the park for volleyball and people watching. We only ventured a few steps into the park until we decided that this was a little too much for us today. The gender confusion among young black gays is quite sad. The young boys are walking around in girl clothes and arched eyebrows, as the young lesbians look more and more like boys and hiphop stars. I remember walking around this same park 8 years ago and it was nothing like it is now... makes me wonder where we will be in another 8 years.
Sunday evening we ventured out to Attraxxtions, a relatively new night spot for Sundays. While the crowd was blah... the music was awful... but the drinks were free all night so we stayed for awhile... before beating our feet home in time to watch Desperate Housewives on DVR before bed.... damn I love that Eva Longoria.

Hopefully this weekend I can finally make it to Six Flags and get plenty of sleep!!

Happy Birthday to Me

Because you think I don't know you read this... but I really do, this is for you

NeYo's Leaving Tonight featuring Jennifer Hudson
off his new CD, Because of You

Don Imus SHOULD NOT be Fired!!

Just as to be expected anything that will give our so called Black leaders a few moments of national attention will be blown way out of proportion as they usually have such a talent of doing.

But let me start by saying do I appreciate Don Imus's comments? No not at all.
Will I listen to the Don Imus show? Never have, never will.
Were his comments racist? Yeah but who hasn't made a racist comment and this wasn't his first time airing his views on his show, so why now all the hype.

Sharpton and other's call for Imus to be fired from his CBS Radio show, Imus in the Morning, is nothing more than violating his First Amendment Right to free speech. I think people are misdirecting their anger at his comments and instead of asking for Imus to be fired we should turn our action to his supporters.

If you watch or listen to this show and are enraged by his comments you should tell CBS Radio that this is not the programming we want to see or hear, and as long as this is on the air we will not be listening or watching this.

We should go to the sponsors of his program and let them know that this behavior is not what we want to support, so in turn we will not buying your products as long as you are a sponsor of this show.

I say hurt people where it hurts the most in their wallets, not by trying to restrict their constitutional rights.

Update Wednesday, 2:12pm: Proctor & Gamble and Staples have both pulled their sponsorship of the show.
Wednesday, 3:15pm: Don Imus's Frequent Guests Face A Moral Dilemma
Thursday, 8:10am MSNBC dumps Imus' showAdvertisers' pullout over racial remarks prompts cancellation

7 days until...

... My Birthday. It is no surprise to me but this year I am feeling kinda "blah... its just another day". Usually I would be back in DC celebrating my birthday with my friend Rey... but boy have things changed so drastically... in less than a year.

Anyway the birthday is approaching and while all I really want is good health, a good job, and less bills... I thought I'd repost this earlier post for the humor.

My Birthday Wish List:

Random Questions...

? Ok so last week I did a post about the best sex… and this weekend some friends and myself were sitting around and the question was asked… what percentage of the sex you have had would you classify as good sex? After several minutes of deep thought and others had expressed their percentages… I came up with mine.

Have you ever met that person at the club, house party or online, decided to hook up and then on your way home afterwards did you have that feeling that 'damn I could have jacked off and been more satisfied'? Well after getting home from brunch this past Sunday my intentions were to take a nap and then get up and hang out with some friends. Well before I could get to sleep the stripper I met a few weeks ago when LB was visiting called and wanted to come through. For about 15 seconds I played the naïve role and made myself think that he was just coming over to hang out… well less than 10 minutes into his visit he had engulfed my manhood and of course one thing led to another… the entire time in my mind I was thinking, “I don’t want to do this.” Nothing against him because the boy is on point but I just wasn’t feeling this random sexual endeavor with this stranger I have only had such limited interaction with. Needless to say nothing happened… and I’m pretty sure I won’t be hearing from him again.

?? So everyone is up in arms, once again. This time syndicated talk-radio personality Don Imus has been forced to apologize Friday for calling members of the Rutgers University women's basketball team "nappy-headed hos" during a segment last week in his "Imus in the Morning" show. During this show, Imus and his producer and on-air sidekick, Bernard McGuirk, went on to further comment on the two teams, referring to Spike Lee’s film School Daze calling them "jigaboos and wannabees." Now, our self appointed black leaders, Jesse Jackson and Al Sharpton are calling for his immediate dismissal.

Now after the Hardaway comment, Isaiah Washington's comments and the most recent comments of Michael Ray Richardson, are we really shocked that some old country ass white man, who has made his mark in the radio talk show circuit by saying anything that comes to his mind, made these comments? I mean why not when he called Obama, "the colored fellow" or after his several critiques of Maya Angelou. Personally I am more shocked that he has even seen School Daze.

??? So fellow Auburn alum, Ryan Lee of the SoVo, wrote an article last week about Atlanta club promoters and Clik magazine editor, in a battle for the Memorial Day crowds in MIAMI!!! I mean seriously, out of the thousands that are going to flock to Miami this upcoming Memorial Day... isn't there enough business to go around?

In the article Powell is quoted as saying, “They have allowed a white man, Art Mann, to try to destroy a successful black man, me — a person that's been a strong positive influence for the black gay community,” Powell wrote in an email. “It’s clear that this is not a business move on their part, but rather one of malice and envy.” So I ask, can only our own people pimp us during pride weeekends and charge us $25 and up to enter the same club, dance to the same beats, drink the same alcohol that only costs us $10 on a regular weekend?

I mean I'm just asking...

Yet Another 2 Church Experiences...

Sunday before last the church tour continued and I had the opportunity to visit yet another church here in Atlanta area. This time I attended alone since my tour partner, Julian Mugler, was unable to attend with me. Elizabeth Baptist Church had been on my list of those to visit for awhile, but while hanging out the Saturday night before, I met a couple of people that actually attend the church and had nothing but good things to say. So after a long night of partying… I got myself up and ventured out to Cascades for a little spiritual upliftment.

Elizabeth Baptist sits right off Cascades Road right past where the 4 lane becomes a 2 lane, quite unfortunate because the amount of traffic coming in and out on Sunday mornings can be quite daunting. After being ushered into my parking space and entering the sanctuary I found a seat next to this woman who insisted on telling me that she was saving the seat for her daughter but she just realized that her daughter went to the earlier service. As if it was right on cue at 930am the Praise & Worship team began the service which was filled with good singing and needed scripture. A youthful pastor Craig Oliver Sr. delivered an ‘on time’ scripture filled message about financial stability. The service was definitely what I was use to, structured and orderly but at the same time flowed consistently. This is the first time since visiting the different churches here that I was reminded of my Metropolitan Baptist of DC. I will definitely be back visiting this church again.

Now the original plan was for me to visit Elizabeth again this Sunday, however, Julian and others had opted to attend New Beginning Full Gospel Baptist, (reference this post for more details) so I decided to attend with them. I had shunned offers to attend Eddie Long’s “Look I Can Fill the Georgia Dome” service as well as a couple of others but by 1:30pm on Easter Sunday I was wishing I hadn’t. The very ‘extra’ service began with as much fanfare and praise as it has the other 2 times I had been to this church. Like I commented before the choir was on point but the musicians over power them and leave you struggling to figure out what exactly are they singing. At about 1220pm I looked at Julian and whispered… there will be no sermon, which was returned by a mixed look of disbelief and disgust, both of the feelings I was sharing at that moment. When the pastor finally made his entrance and continued the hour and 20 minute song fest for another 20 minutes… with a short break for collection. The songfest continued and next thing you know the invitation to discipleship was extended.

Now I truly believe that things should be done in decency and in order, and while I need to hear the uplifting songs… I need to hear the message as well. I was quite disappointed to hear from a friend that attends that this isn’t the first time there has been no message. Julian later summed it up beautifully over brunch with friends… “just like I need to hear music when I go to a club, I need to hear a message when I go to church.” I think that was my last visit to New Beginning.

Where Do Broken Stars Go??

They are selling thousands of records, selling out arenas, and performing on the Grammys, Oscars or some globally televised awards show. And then it happens… one gets greedy or thinks that their voice is more talented than what it actually is and in a matter of weeks they become yesterday’s news. Then what happens… where do broke stars go?

Well like Whitney asks, they often find their way home. I have seen it over and over again but most recently in the Sister2Sister article about LeLee of SWV. In the article she states that she was "destitute" after the group broke up in 1998 and how she would "go to gay clubs and meet girls just to have someplace to sleep." Does that mean LeLee is gay or just gay for pay. Well her response to all of us who are curious for some odd reason (I mean really who the hell is she and who cares) on her MySpace page states “PS. The media is really concerned about who I'm f@&#in. Is she gay or what? To satisfy everyone's curiosity who is interested please go to www.kissmyass.com." Oh well guess we will just have to use our imaginations.

Black Gay club promoters are always bringing second rate, use to be stars to perform to the same clubs they would have and never did visit when they stars were rising. DC based promoter Darryl Wilson of 202DC.com has brought countless of these once celebrities to his nightly parties including Tweet, Lil Mo, Remy Ma, Mr. Cheeks, and even SWV themselves. Just this past February, Chante Moore and her husband Kenny Lattimore were performing at the Red Chair here in Atlanta.

Will JHud make an appearance at an XtremeEntertainment event now that she has an Oscar, like she did right here in Midtown Atlanta not long after her untimely dismissal from Idol?

And we all know if these stars don’t make it in the secular world, the other logical place for them to run to is the church. There are some celebs that have always lived their lives on the straight and narrow, like AC Green, while others decided to turn to God after escaping destructive lifestyles or realizing that may be their only source of income. Years after Coko’s solo release “Hot Coko’ flopped, she joined Fred Hammond's "Free To Worship" tour along with Kenny Lattimore and Chante Moore. Performing at churches all over the country including Elizabeth Baptist right here in Atlanta last week. Kelly Price, MC Hammer and Peebles are only a few others that have ran to the pulpit after their musical careers went down the toilet. Now even Angie Stone is joining the Sisters In The Spirit 2007 Tour... quoted as a a concert with "the hottest in gospel artists with a twist of R&B."

So we see that it isn't uncommon for former celebrities to recapture their glory with admissions of tawdry transgressions and hidden truths or by running to the nearest pulpit and screaming, "Oh How I Love Jesus"!! But I ask where was sall this love and candidness when you were on top of the BillBoard charts? And what does this say about our community and world?

To me this could be either two things... one the artist is just recognizing this may be their only source of income... or just like the reasons behind the whole DL nonsense, the lack of tolerance and acceptance in our community is making these artist hide who they are so they have a chance to make it in the entertainment industry?

Do you think Tevin Campbell would have sold so many records back in the day if everyone knew he was gay?

The Best Sex...

So it was 9:15am yesterday morning and I had just sat down at my desk with my croissant and orange juice and signed on to yahoo, you know my usual routine. Now usually this routine continues with me reading the Washington Post and skimming the New York Times, completely ignoring any phone calls and mustering up a grunt or two to the greetings from my coworkers. For some reason it didn’t take my coworkers back in DC that long to realize I don’t like being bothered till after 10am.

Well this morning started off quite different. My croissant and orange juice were joined by a Yahoo IM from a friend in London asking, “What was the best sex you have ever had?” Now usually I would have replied it is too early in the morning to get started in this way but seeing I had just masturbated this morning… thinking damn I haven’t had any good sex in awhile… let alone sex at all. And it got me thinking to what exactly was the best sex I have ever had…

Was it the time me and this guy that I briefly knew… left the dance floor at the now defunk night spot in DC called the Abyss in a sweaty, horned up craze and had sex outside under a tree on a misty Friday night in Southwest DC (which now explains why to my friends who have seen condoms in my glove compartment)

Or was it the time a brunch for four turned buttering some buns into an entire new experience…

After a few minutes of thought (unfortunately those were the only highlights of the 10 years I have been having sex) it came to me. While back at Auburn during one of me and Mr. D’s off again times… I had a visit from a friend who was attending Alabama A&M, we had known each other for about a year and had flirted with each other quite often. The first night of his two day visit was uneventful other than dinner and movies and just hanging out around the house. His visit came at a time when I was working the 10pm to 6am shift for a local hotel, so as I returned home the next morning I was surprised to see him up so early. He kissed me as soon as I had walked in the door… we showered together which led to a day long of passion and love. From 6:30am when I got home till 7pm when it was time for him to go, we had the hottest sex all over my bedroom. From the shower… to the king size bed… to the couch in the sitting area. I don’t think I have ever had that much passion with one person that made me want to go through an entire box of condoms… to the point where your orgasm only produces shakes and moans because there is nothing more inside to cum out. That was the best sex I had ever had and that was over 7 years ago, when I was still a novice. He was only my 2nd sexual partner… not that I am about to go into numbers now but lets just say it makes me think of all I have wasted between now and then…

When will great sex go from a distant memory to my current reality?