One reader who I met while living in Atlanta and that I stay in contact with via Yahoo! IM, has constantly complained about his teaching job in Bumfuck, GA. Week after week it always something about his class or school...
For the past six months an acquaintence has been dating this one guy, that I have yet to meet but you would think I knew him for years. For the past four months I have had to hear about how emotionally unavailable the guy can be; how he is always out partying with his friends to only call him afterwards so he can cum through; how he wishes there was more time for him between the guy's busy travel schedule; and the list has gone on and on since October...
For the past two years my cousin has complained about how the family is rude to his fiance and how they really don't accept her. (I could do a series of posts on the Baptiste-Williams and their standards of dating and maybe one day I will.) Recently after spending the holidays in St. Kitts with the rest of the clan... his fiance called off the wedding (I'm not surprised) ...
We all go through shit and need to vent from time to time. Sometimes we have one of those days were if just one more thing happened or one more person would have said something... it would have been on and poppin'. Hopefully we all have someone we can vent to whether it is your partner, friend, or mother... but there is one thing your mother should have taught you...
No one and I do mean no one wants to hear your ass complain constantly about the same thing.
Especially me... I, like most people, have enough shit going on in my own life to want to hear anyone constantly complain about the same thing over and over. Especially if they are not 
making moves in their lives to change what is upsetting them. Don't you think I have worked a job that I was unhappy at? Don't you think I have had a current that needed to be an ex? Don't you think this family gets on my nerves from time to time. But instead of complaining and nagging off someone's ear all the time... I prefer to make changes so that I can cope and deal with the situation if not eradicate it.
making moves in their lives to change what is upsetting them. Don't you think I have worked a job that I was unhappy at? Don't you think I have had a current that needed to be an ex? Don't you think this family gets on my nerves from time to time. But instead of complaining and nagging off someone's ear all the time... I prefer to make changes so that I can cope and deal with the situation if not eradicate it.Don't take this the wrong way... we all got things we have to release and just vent about. And if we are friends I will listen... but you also know as friends I am going to be the first one to tell you stop fuckin complaining and do something about it... and if I ever slip up and forget what my momma taught me I hope you remind me as well.
9 comments:
amen amen amen....
just the other week a girlfriend of mine was going on and on and on complaining about her job and man before she even asked me how my horrible day had been. so after i leave a hellish day at work i have to hear her ass complaining on my way home.
You're absolutely right. I don't like when people are complaining about the same things over and over. One of the issues may not be the circumstance...it's probably the person!
I need to forward this to Slick (ex-roomie). If he talks about not having anyone one more time I'm going for f*cking die of redundancy. You can't be sad for days in a row of something so silly. I'm extremely aware of people's feeling, so typically I let them get it out. Other times I'm like could u please not mention this subject for the next few days. I'm sorry, but I can't listen to u regarding this today.
I've been guilty of complaining about my job, but I only do it with others who are doing the same. Every other day my best friend will talk about our job experiences and just vent to each other.
But other things that I can readily change, I just change them instead of complaining.
I agree completely. No one wants to be around someone who's constantly complaining, especially if it's about something they have the power to change. Why complain if you have the power to make it better for yourself (and possibly others)?
Funny story. I'm glad no in my life complains like that. Why do such unhappy people choose to associate with you? I have a friend who's very insensitive. One of those kick you while your down types. I just accept it for what it is and don't share sensitive matters with him. But I'm upfront with him. I've let him know that I don't share some things with him because of his trait of cracking a joke at the wrong time. My point is he knows what I feel about his insensitivity. Maybe it would be helpful if you shared this motherly advice with these complaining individuals.
I agree with kokayi. You have the power to change this situation you are in with people, so tell them up front "I don't care and don't want to hear".
They must think you are more interested in hearing their sob stories then you really are.
Aren't you complaining everytime you do one of these posts?...
There is definately something to be said of being willing to complain but not to make change.
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