A friend emailed me to say one aspect has been missing from HisStory for a minute. I think "so wassup with my life..." were his exact words.
To say I am somewhat of a control freak can be an understatement at times. But when things do get out of hand or out of my control... I tend to put them away and think about them only when I can solve the issue. Bills are a great example of this. If I can't afford to pay it why open them... I just throw them in my nightstand and get to them when I am able to. No sense in looking at an outstanding balance I can't pay. Luckily for me I haven't been in this position in awhile.
But to say my personal life has been in a little disaray the past two years is quite the understatement. If you been following HisStory... you only know half of the story, its been a lot worse than I have written about but somethings are reserved for my journals. The transition back to Washington has not been as seemless as I thought it would be. Work and the social life have had a few bumps in the road but it is what it is and Xs are Xs for a reason. A new friend of mine wrote in his blog:
Would the world go on without me?
How would the grass continue to grow?
Could people survive without me?
Or am I to them the Sun?
Of course things would continue without me
And though I am just a minnow in this sea
Even minnows make waves - DL 8/24/2006
But with the new year the waves are becoming a lot calmer. In the past few months I made the change and finally left the nonprofit world and ventured into the world of hospitality. The job change isn't unfamiliar territory, I am actually going from client to supplier. And I am loving it. In 18 months, I will be up for a promotion and more than likely I will be leaving Washington once again. My mentor/supervisor told me being open to move anywhere would be best for my career, so if that means I have to move to our property in Paris well hell so be it!! LOL
Redating an X has proven to be a difficult situation. While we never gave a title or definition to what we were doing... we were doing a lot of it. When he told me that he wasn't able to fully committ till things that were going on in his life that were out of his control were back in order... I heard but I didn't listen. So once again, I put myself in a position of giving more than I was getting and not being totally happy. While things are still in a awkward state, I have allowed myself to be open to meeting new people.
And so I did... one person, TheNutCracker (if you saw his thighs you would understand), actually the one's poetry I referenced above, I had actually talked to on IM before leaving DC however we only met face to face in December. He is definitely the type that grabs my attention: intelligent, great conversationalist, sexy thighs, committed and thought provoking. The only bad thing is that he is in a relationship so we have both remandided ourselves to being friends.
Then there is Texas not sure what I want to write about him just yet but he is cool and I definitely see a good friendship there.
This past Sunday I did something I wouldn't normally do. I went out by myself and actually had a good time. I know a lot of people so even when I do go out with friends... I am always off in a conversation with someone I didn't come with. But I don't like going out alone because I always think who will I sit there and talk to. Well with the few people I knew and the new cutie I met, I wasn't at a lost for conversation the entire night.
But for the most that is what has been going on in my world. Oh yeah I saw The Great Debaters yesterday (still upset at an $8 matinee) but it was well worth it. Excellent movie you all should see... especially if you are tired of the typical, nonsense black movies out there like that Santa movie with Gabriel Union and Morris Chestnutt (yeah I slipped that jab in for you NutCracker)
11 comments:
omg not the Nutcracker... you always kill me with these names.
And you are right The Great Debaters was definitely a great film and story we need to know.
Great to see a relateable, almost vulnerable human side to ya'....you appear to always land on your feet and have your mind together, so just do you pa... ;)
I'd been meaning to ask you something...I think you just answered it...Things don't look so bad though...
seeing i know u and the X... it is clear that u 2 are together regardless of what has been said.
We both need to leave those "X's" alone. I brought in the new year holding hands with one of mine.
And 1 more thing:
"we have both remandided ourselves"
I know you would have pointed this out to me, so...
that DL sure does seem like a sharp cookie. I wonder what state of mind he was in while reflecting on his global significance
I'm with you on the control thing. However, I don't put the uncontrollable factor away. I typically just go crazy until I can get some type of control. Those quasi relationship are always interesting. Most of the time they aren't worth the time..sigh. The Great Debaters was a great movie! I was there on Christmas day.
this would be the post I see my first day back... I always loved you...
Oooh yeah! Move to Paris and offer me a piece of floor to sleep on when I visit.
It is always good when we can get a little more of you through your blog...
The Great Debaters was a good movie. And those undefined relationships .... ahhh...I remember those days.
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