Shit Your Mother Should Have Taught You #3


We already know how I feel about passive people, but nothing irks me more than someone to ask me, "When are we gonna...". That question is usually ended with go out to dinner, hang out, go to a movie or something. But the way the question is asked just pisses me off to no end.

The statement "When are we..." suggests that I know your schedule, I know your commitments, or I can just pick 8am Monday morning and it will be cool with you. So in case your mother or father never told you how to ask someone out... let me pitch hit for a minute. The correct way is "I would like to... when is good with you." or even better, "Would you like to... on Friday." Stop being a passive ninny passing off what you want to do on the other person. Man up and just ask!!

19 comments:

Soldier said...

Especially when you have other things to be doing with your time but you wouldn't mind goin out with them... that question destroys whatever hope there was

i get like : " YOU are talking about it, so you already started the thought process, it'd be so m uch easier if you finished it... i'll be waiting for your call "

Bernie said...

Agreed.

Worst than that however, is when the person approaches you months later, sheepishly, and says, "When I first met you I wanted to ask you out, but I didn't think I was your type."

That Dude Right There said...

As usual, I am in total agreement with you!

But I also hate when you finally make plans and then he flakes out.

life said...

I like ppl being upfront. Most ppl are passive b/c they are scared for whatever reason (rejection is the most common one).

Anonymous said...

you're kind of a prick....happy new year!!!

Cocoa Rican said...

Wow...
Guess any gentlemen callers have been forewarned...
I just figure if it's someone I wanted to go out with anyway, how he finds to ask me is a pretty moot point. I'm grabbing that bull by the horns and making the moment mine. ..but hey, I guess principle can mean as much as a date to folks, right....hmmm....LOL

B Free said...

yO WHAT UP MAN? Been a lil minute but im back in the Blog world. This post is classic! I think my all time favorite is "When are we gonna chill?" First its like when would you like to, second what the hell is chill? Are we gonna go see a movie, dinner, u tryin to rub honey all over my body? Like be damn specific. Say what you want and let me give you truth. Uggg. Good to see youre still doin ya thing Cee Wee

Always,

B Free

Anonymous said...

I always assumed that guys were doing this because they are bottoms and want me to be the "man" and ask them out, or they are too cheap to treat me or go Dutch, so they put the ball in my court. I'm "old school" so when I ask someone out I foot the bill, lol.

Either way I hate it, lol. If I like you, I'll ask you out, if I don't I won't.

Darius T. Williams said...

hmmm...I guess it depends on who's asking. if their super cute then I'd feel all warm and fuzzy...if they're a bugaboo, then that's a different story.

colinnyc said...

darius i hope you are joking because if you have different standards on how people can approach you based on how they look that is sad and shows you fall into a typical stereotype of a gay man

twinston1911 said...

im with you Darius and im sure no one would be mad if someone phine as hell came up to them and said, hey when are we going to go out, it wouldn't even be an issue, but i guess some people take it too seriously lol,

C. Baptiste-Williams said...

i have to agree with Colin on this one... yes I would be flattered but just because you look a certain way I wouldnt expect anything different. would actually be even more of a turn on if he wasnt so passive.

Anonymous said...

"would actually be even more of a turn on if he wasnt so passive."

So if Shemar, Will Smith or whoever's at the top of your list came with that line you would be turned off?

Anonymous said...

simply stated, you are the kind of gay black man that i HATE. all of the bad things that happen to you...you completely deserve.

let me add, you are incredible insecure. no wonder so are habitually unpartnered. you are not quality dating material. you are just a jerk.

celeste said...

wow a lil over dramatic anonymous is it really that serious

Anonymous said...

Anon 11:38

1) If you "hate" him so much, why waster your time or energy even being here?

2) Did he hurt you that badly?

colinnyc said...

oooo u must have pissed some sensitive homo off lol

but seeing ive known u for 5 years im sure u will say who cares.

Mr. Jones said...

Nothing is worse than a man who can't speak up for himself. I dated a guy like that once. Didn't work out.

Anonymous said...

Knowing what kind of person you like is a very good thing. A lot of people have yet to get to this point in their lives. Bravo! You appear to have a lot of specific qualifications if a person is considering stepping to you. Perhaps creating and wearing a placard on your chest as you gallivant around town will serve as proper notice, so your precious time is not wasted. And the people who may be genuinely interested in you will not be insulted, hurt or unduly punished because they thought you were a nice person. Or is that what you want - to spread the pain you feel around. Who hurt you?

P.S. The ability to read minds is not a gift bestowed on everyone.