Welcome Back to Atlanta...

Well it seems to be that time of year again. Seems like it was just four months ago we welcomed you to Atlanta, and now that time is upon us again. Well on behalf of Mayor Shirley Franklin, the Atlanta Convention & Visitors Bureau, and all the residents of metro Atlanta, we welcome you back to the King Weekend Celebration.

While we know you came in town to party, meet a jump-off, and go to the many Escada Balls… we ask that you keep in mind the reason we are all off from work on Monday. We ask that you take a minute and reflect on the man, the works, and the dream of Martin Luther King, Jr. Take a minute and visit historic Auburn Avenue and the King Center (or at least drive down MLK Boulevard). Or take a few minutes and visit the AUC Library and look at our multimillion dollars pieces of paper… ooops nevermind they aren’t even on display yet.

But while here please remember to follow the 10 Commandments for Visitors during Pride Weekend Part 1


1. Thou shall not steal. Now we do not want a repeat of the events that occurred last year (although I am sure it was some tired ATL queens). So if you find the need to permanently borrow some new ‘fits… do that before you leave home. Just to forewarn you Signature 4 Men has since hired a very massive guard that doesn’t really care for homos.

2. Thou shall not harass the straights at Lenox Mall, because once again they will be walking around wondering why this mall is gayer than usual.

3. Thou shall dance like nobody’s watching when the DJ plays the house version of MLK’s I Have a Dream speech; for this is the closest to playing homage most of you will get to this weekend.

4. Thou shall remember that the old Cypress Street has been gentrified and is now home to some of the most expensive condos and office space in Midtown… so don’t go trolling down there assuming to find… well you know what you were trolling for.

5. Thou shall not commit adultery. If you are vacationing without your significant other… keep it in your pants.

6. Thou shall not take late night walks in Piedmont Park. It’s too damn cold and the park closes at nightfall anyway!!

7. Thou shall remember this weekend is about peaceful progress. Stop gritting on each other and say hello when you pass by or at least smile.

8. Thou shall be a friend to your friend. Do not let them come out of the house in some shit that if anyone else had on you would be cackling about. I do not want to see a repeat of the chain thong incident walking around Lenox Mall.

9. Thou shall once again remember that Atlanta is currently at its homo resident limit, so no new homo residents at this time!! (the only exception to this rule: tall, light, masculine, educated, attractive, over 25 but under 35, employed, single with a great sense of humor and beautiful thighs and smile… otherwise you gotta go)

10. Thou shall have a good time, enjoy Atlanta for the weekend and take your ass home on Monday.

See also:
Is it Time for Gay Pride Travel Tour Already??

Remebering the Dream of a King

Farewell... Coretta Scott King

Welcome to Atlanta

14 comments:

NYPimp said...

oooo wow we laughed so hard at the dude with the chaing thong on!!

and i agree why we always walking around with mean faces at everyone

Cocoa Rican said...

See pa... that's why I ain't even goin' down there for no MLK weekend...besides, my Rican azz likes havin' all those ATL red brothas to myself when I go down there... sharin' wit the rest of the eastern seaboard isn't cute... I think I'll stay in NY and hit ATL later in the year...
BTW... I had this freaky dream that I was MLK's Rican sidekick and they he and I were havin' an affair behind 'Rettas back... only to have him shot when he was leavin' my hotel room... shoot... don't be mad at me... it was just a dream....LOL

Anonymous said...

that is blasphemous

j_shanlin said...

"(the only exception to this rule: tall, light, masculine, educated, attractive, over 25 but under 35, employed, single with a great sense of humor and beautiful thighs and smile… otherwise you gotta go)"

I'm mad at you for this sir...you will never copy and paste what you wrote for the personals ad and put it in your blog..all you need is "non-smoker...a plus" and you'd be set.

celeste said...

something to be said for that southern hospitality.... LOL

El Alexander said...

LOL at the 10 Commandments LAWD Lenox is going to be a mess I love to see the older white people faces while the Family walks thru the mall not buying anything but just looking and playing who's gonna get who...

That Dude Right There said...

Chain Thong Incident! I guess that if I hadn't gotten drunk every night, I could have been at Lenox to see this.

But could you please elaborate for those of use that weren't there. Nevermind, I can imagine.

Paula D. said...

OMG!!! #2 of the 10 Commandments is tooo funny!!!!! I have been up in Lenox before!

Enigmatic1 said...

LOL please tell me that you re-release this during Labor Day weekend as well...

ReddMann said...

@ J_shanlin... shutup

@ El & Paula... it never fells I see some woman gripping onto her man for dear life in Lenox on these weekends.

@ Dude... yep some crusty bama looking boy was walking around with some lowrider jeans on showing off a chain thong... utterly disgusting site 2

@ Engimatic... check the link at the bottom of the post entitled Welcome to Atlanta

Honey-Libra said...

LOL why did three have me crackin up...all I can think of is those voguing videos I see on YouTube

Yes, I'm new LOL...I'll be back:)

Colinnyc said...

i like that house version of I Have A Dream.... and ummm the memories of Cypress Street... LOL

Hondo's Boy said...

ahh the good ol' days in the atl (class of '01-'03). NYC doesn't really get off the chain like atlanta. we party but atl got some good memories attached to it.

Kensilo said...

OMG, the chain thong???? Too much.
Enjoy the weekend.