Lessons Learned in 2008

It seems as though I have had a reoccurring theme in my life the past few years. In Lessons Learned in 2007, I posted a quote from one of my favorite movies, Love and Basketball:

"It's a trip, you know? When you're a kid, you-you see the life you want, and it never crosses your mind that it's not gonna turn out that way." - Monica

This year has definitely been a year, I will never forget. And as always I try to learn a few lessons:

Relationships are not black and white... My 5 year relationship with FLJ has come in many reincarnations from acquaintances to friend to confident to partner and back again. But after he passed in June it took me awhile to realize that it was the perfect relationship for me. When we were on we were on strong and it was great. And when we are off, we were great friends. And while it may not be a typical relationship it is definitely what what worked for us.

Friends are the family you choose... Me and my bestfriend celebrated 10 years of friendship this year. Regardless of where we were in the country or what was going on in our lives... he has been a constant over the past ten years. He is definitely the brother I always wanted but more importantly the friend I always needed.

Let it Go... Last October I was really done wrong professionally. And for over half a year I held an awful grudge towards that person. Invitations to events and gifts were mistakenly misplaced. But then after listening to a message from Craig Oliver the pastor of Elizabeth Baptist Church in Atlanta... I realized that things are never that serious. Learn your lesson from the situation and move on. So I recently sent a note to that colleague letting them know that all things considered I am now in a much better place and exactly where I wanted to be. When I sealed the note card it felt good and like a weight had been lifted. When I received the thank you email in return it felt even better.

Learn to budget bitch... this is a recession. FLJ was many things to me but one thing he had been for years was my financial planner. My 401k, IRA, savings and my shopping were all managed and critiqued by him. After loosing him... I didn't have that person to stop my excessive spending and lack of savings nor did I have my back up financial source. So needless to say I have been learning to budget my money and prioritize my financial goals. I am still working on managing the 401k thing but that will be my resolution for the first quarter to have that in order.

Hopefully we all know that just because it is a new year doesn't mean all the issues of 2008 or before disappear... there is no new slate. But hopefully we have learned somethings that will make 2009 easier to deal with.


thegayte-keeper said...


houstonmacbro said...

I really like your last two items. As much, sometimes, as we want to get even, sometimes it is best to let it go. I think OUR salvation and progress is a direct result of moving past things and letting the universe right the wrongs.

As for financial planning, you hit the nail on the head.

The Voice of DemondMaurice said...

This is such a great personal review for you as we all should do going forward. I feel you on the financial planning thing and it has been on my list for a few years now. This year I plan to just get to the root of the problem and work from there.

Happy New Year and keep looking in the mirror.

Darius T. Williams said...

great lessons man - for real! We've all learned some great lessons!

Happy New Year!

Turn me up a lil said...

Spending too much money always leads to a lesson learned. I learned my lesson so many times LOL

Anonymous said...

Let the church say AMEN!

That Dude Right There said...