Sometimes when I am having lunch with my hetero friends, I feel like I'm in a zoo, better yet I feel like I am at a Senate hearing. Just replace my plate with a mic and my friends with a bunch of stodgy old white men.
The conversation today centered around transgender and the story that has been all around the news and even on my girl O's show the other day. I hadn't even taken two sips of the diet Coke before the first question was, "What is up with this woman who is a man having a baby?". The course of the meal was me talking and them and the table next to us listening...
I have never understood the transgender mentality or life. I have never once in my life had the desire to be a female. Never once thought my gayness was me being trapped in the wrong body. But I also told my lunch partners something I heard at my church... never judge someone else's struggle in life, you don't know where they are coming from or where they are going. And with that in mind regardless of how I really feel about it and its affects on others... I say to each their own.
We talked about how does a lesbian go to being married to a transgendered man. And to that again I do not understand either. But one thing I always give my hetero friends to think on is... "Are you straight because you have sex with the opposite gender, or is that just something you do because you are straight." I think that if people would remove sex from the equation and focus on the love... it would normalize things a lot more. I have had sex with women before... that doesn't make me straight. I nor is anyone I know gay because they enjoy sex with men but because they are attracted to them emotionally.
As for the child that will come from this situation... I honestly feel quite sorry for the child. I think a lot of times people make decisions that will affect others because they simply have the right to. Yes you have the right to reproduce because it is your body. But why bring someone else into your madness. People are just getting use to the idea of gay parents and even still with that children are taunted and teased. But can you imagine explaining your daddy is actually your mommy?!?! I think with everything people have to deal with in life sometimes we have the ability to limit the harm we bring on others.
Hopefully our lunch opened their mind to different things. Even if they don't agree or do not like we all should be respectful to other's decisions to live their life.
2 comments:
its strange, i had a similar conversation with my best friend the other day about this whole situation. i am with you when you say "to each his/her own", but i this particular situation really boggles me. i think my main concern, similar to yours, is the welfare of this child and the affects this "decision" is going to have on this child and its life. when having children your life no longer becomes yours, so i wonder what all went into the decison making process of these two individuals.
i wish i would've watched that oprah episode.
futhermore, the fact that this woman wanted to be a man is fine, it is what it is, but the fact now that "he" is trying to blur lines and now persue the privileges bestowed on women is disturbing. "he" spoke of the concern of the backlash "he" and his family might recieve and the question is who asked them to make this national news?
i don't know this whole thing makes me a little weary of some peoples mental and emotional states of mind. the things people are willing to risk just in name of a "cause" or possibly,simply just cause controversy. it all just seems like this is a dangerous way to try to gain "access". there were so many more ways to go about obtaining a child, but again, to each his/her own. its just real interesting.
I don't care what "he" calls himself. If she really wanted to be a man then she would have gone all the way. So to me it is not a man having a baby....it's a woman.
Seriously, I feel the most grief for the child. First, I pray the child is healthy and not deformed or will have health problems. Too many hormones going back and forth. Second, I hope the child has a decent life. I just have a feeling that the media will be all up in this child's life. Finally, it's all about the publicity of it. They could have easily just kept this under wraps and kept their privacy but they made this a major issue for America because of selfishness on the parent's part.
I really agree about what makes a man or woman gay and it has nothing to do with sexual intercourse. It is about the connection emotionally and spiritually.
Great post!!
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