Moving to Atlanta and entering the dating scene again has been quite an experience. Some of those I have shared in this blog. But something happened this week and it just struck a nerve and has been on my mind all week.
So I was sitting around the house minding my own business, not bothering anyone when I get a call from a guy that I dated for a few weeks earlier this summer. He was a nice guy that I had actually been communicated with before moving to Atlanta in an attempt to establish new friendships. So what was to be just hanging out turned into us spending a lot of time together and going on a few dates over the course of three weeks. And then came the oh this is moving to fast I need space nonsense (also known as I ain’t ready to settle down just yet I gotta see what else is out there, mind you a serious relationship was never on my mind but it is whatever). But that is not the point of this blog entry… so he calls me out of the blue and in the midst of the conversation keeps bringing up the Sugar Water Festival this weekend starring Jill Scott, Erykah Badu, and Queen Latifah… anyway so he asks me if I was planning to go because he had no one to go with and after agreeing to go, I get hit with… Let me ask my boy before I buy tickets to see if he wants to go too.
Did you not just say you had no one to go with?
Why are you asking me to go if you were going to ask your boy?
(FYI: The correct way to do that was to ask your boy first then ask me if I wanted to go along with you guys)
Back in June, I had been casually dating this one guy for several weeks. We often had to cancel or readjust our plans because he said, “My roommate is feeling left out.” Mind you the roommate went to Morehouse, and with all the homos at that school I am sure he had some friends somewhere in this damn city. Feeling left out? Am I dating him too? The last straw for me came, right after my cabin trip where I had been gone for like 5 days to get back to the city, anxious to spend some time with him. So I invite him out to eat… and on his way to my house he asks would I mind if his roommate joined us for dinner. So me being me I said yes I would but if that is what you want its fine. Long story short… just me and Dominican go to dinner but on the way home to chill and watch a movie, he says he wants to stop by Atlantic Station (outdoor shopping complex for you non Atlanta folks)… where what his roommate is…. only to come to find out that via text message while we were at dinner he had made plans with to go see a movie. As soon as I found out I bounced… I hope he enjoyed that movie.
I never expect anyone to distance themselves from their friends just because they are dating. But there has to be some sort of separation. And what kind of pressed friend would always want to be the third wheel… I mean every now and then its whatever, lets all go hang out but damn!!
Why do I keep running into people that expect me to date them and their friends?