"That's my ex...." Part 2

Yeah I meant to finish this last week but... it was a busy week and an even more eventful weekend.

So another part of the conversation that I was apart of had to do with a particular person that me and my friends know purposely misstating the truth. To break this down without going into a lot of pointless details A and B dated for a very brief point in time. A and C had been friends for years. D goes and tells A that C and B are now dating. A is now mad at B. While there was no truth to the lie... it left me wondering How long do you have to date someone before they are officially off limits to your friends?

The two in the situation above dated less than 6 months... hell probably less than 4. While I shouldn't have been, I was quite shocked that someone that had dated such a short period of time was now off limits to his friend.

I look at dating as the annoying dance you do several times as you find the one that fits as your partner. And considering how the kids date... half of the potential dating pool would be nixed for your friends by your early 30s. I personally can only think of 2 people that would be totally off limits to my friends and one is now deceased.. and both of those people I was in a committed long term relationship.
While some of the people I have dated in the past have been complete mistakes (yeah you know who you are). I have dated some people that were great guys we just had bad timing. And if one of those people could make a true friend of mine happy... I say go for it.
I mean if I was truly wanted that person for myself... wouldn't I be working on that relationship, instead of placing it on a shelf like a collector's item??


twinston1911 said...

alot can happen with 6 months of dating u cant really put a time on falling in love with someone, it really depends on what the feelings were within the relationship between the two involved, if a friend of mine was dating someone and they really liked them, even fell in love with them, but it didn't work out and they still had feeling for them, than that person would be off limits to me, just out of respect for my friend,

C. Baptiste-Williams said...

Trust me I have all the questions and a few of the answers and on this one I don't...

but are you saying you should compromise your happiness because your friend dated someone for a few months? just asking the question... i personally think there has to be a point when you move on and past those feelings for old dates.

colinnyc said...

me and my bestfriend had this conversation awhile ago.

if it was someone i casually dated and they have hung out and he is really into them i told him he should go for it. i want my bestfriend to be happy regardless of whether it is going to be for a few months or a few years.

i think when we hold all of our dates as off limits we are being selfish and dont truly know what the hell we want.

C. Baptiste-Williams said...

my god Colin are you sober?!?!

i cant imagine you stealing thoughts out of my head

JB said...

I have to cosign with Colin on this. I think that when people tend to act like that, not wanting their friend to date their ex, I think it's because they still have some kind of feeling for them. And if that is the case then they should be trying to work something out or the ex wouldn't be an "ex" in the first place, but if they decided not to do that and they say they moving on then that person needs to let that ex go.

Now if the ex got some crazy ways or something that the friend don't know about, and that person is trying to protect their friend, then that's another issue.

twinston1911 said...

naw it’s not worth upsetting a good friend or losing a friend over, men come a dime a dozen and losing a friend over a man is just non sense, it’s not that serious or at least it shouldn’t be, if it’s your a good friend than u should have no problem not dating someone that they use to date if it was serious to them, I care far more for my friends feeling than I do trying to get a date, I don't know maybe it’s easy for me to say cuz I live in atl and getting a date is very easy here at least for me, so I don’t mine passing up someone cuz my friend is not comfortable with it, after all that what friends do
but thats just me, :)

fuzzy said...

I dont believe that there should be a limit. People can date who they want to! Its a free country, sort of speak! Who are you to limit someone else's happiness?