Am I Wrong....

Usually I am... but it works for me so I guess that makes it right.

But here is the situation. My cousin is getting married this summer in Hawkins, Texas. Yes Hawkins not Houston. Where is Hawkins? I have no idea. When I was asked if I was going I said probably not... I already had a vacation lined up for late August early September and I am unsure if I would be able to afford to go to this as well. (UMMMM remember recession)

So my mother was disappointed that I wasn't going to go. I told her about all of my previous plans and asked why must people get married in these small towns that cost a fortune to get to. I understand it is their wedding but the can't be shocked when people can't make it.

So am I wrong?

I will probably make an effort to go... not a huge effort but a little one. I just googled and saw Hawkins is 2 hours from my hotel in Dallas... definitely wont be making a huge effort.

So my new year's resolution this year was to start living again... since FLJ has passed I was kind of just existing. Just doing what I needed to do that day to make it to bed time. Thankfully I have some friends that have been keeping me busy and my mind on other things. But each night I go to sleep and look at his picture on the nightstand and think about how things should be.

So part of living again has been getting the finances under control. While this has meaned giving up a lot of my free time... I thought since I wasn't doing anything but sleeping it away... I might as well do something productive. While my original very ambitious goal of being totally out of debt by April 1, after really looking at my credit card debt and seeing it was more than I anticipated... I moved that goal to July 1 to give myself another quarter of work towards that goal. Buying a new Hart Schaffner Marx suit and G Star coat hasn't helped me towards my goal.

I have never enjoyed dating... it is just one of those necessary evils. Easing back into this mindset started off with a regrettable bump in the road, but the past few weeks has been surprisingly enjoyable. I met someone Inauguration weekend that has captured my attention and that I actually enjoy talking to and hanging out one of those people that make you want to be a better person. Even if nothing more comes from this but friendship... that is definitely the type of person I want to surround myself.

I have never been the one to approach anyone but I also met 2 other people that I have had my eye on at parties recently, while we have exchanged numbers and talked extensively, I haven't been out with either of them yet but probably something soon.

The work front has proven to be the biggest challenge. While I thought I would be transferring out of Washington this year... the economy has had a change of plans for me. The hotel industry has been hit hard and CNN and Fox News have been making luxury hotels into the next big devil... so my stay in Washington may be a bit longer than expected. But my eyes are open for potential opportunities elsewhere.

But overall life is decent... its not great and could be better... but could also be worse... so I am living...

The Baddest Chick in the Game...

~

Yet again... the Baddest Chick in the Game...

last night at the National Governor's Association dinner at the White House....

Dustin Lance Black accepts for Milk

"That's my ex...." Part 2

Yeah I meant to finish this last week but... it was a busy week and an even more eventful weekend.

So another part of the conversation that I was apart of had to do with a particular person that me and my friends know purposely misstating the truth. To break this down without going into a lot of pointless details A and B dated for a very brief point in time. A and C had been friends for years. D goes and tells A that C and B are now dating. A is now mad at B. While there was no truth to the lie... it left me wondering How long do you have to date someone before they are officially off limits to your friends?

The two in the situation above dated less than 6 months... hell probably less than 4. While I shouldn't have been, I was quite shocked that someone that had dated such a short period of time was now off limits to his friend.

I look at dating as the annoying dance you do several times as you find the one that fits as your partner. And considering how the kids date... half of the potential dating pool would be nixed for your friends by your early 30s. I personally can only think of 2 people that would be totally off limits to my friends and one is now deceased.. and both of those people I was in a committed long term relationship.

While some of the people I have dated in the past have been complete mistakes (yeah you know who you are). I have dated some people that were great guys we just had bad timing. And if one of those people could make a true friend of mine happy... I say go for it.

I mean if I was truly wanted that person for myself... wouldn't I be working on that relationship, instead of placing it on a shelf like a collector's item??

Jennifer Hudson - If This Isn't Love Video

I love the album... love the song... love the video....

Oscar, Grammy... what's next Jhud

The Baddest Chick in the Game...

I stan for Michelle Obama.

"That's my ex...." Part 1

Recently, some friends and myself were sitting around relaxing in deep conversation with empty bottles of wine all around. During this conversation of of the younger members of the group mentioned in passing his four exs. My mind started racing like damn how has he had more Exs than me and I am a good 5 years older than him.

So over the past week I have been wondering... what makes someone an Ex? How long do you date someone before bestowing that title on the person?

I have always thought in today's environment... especially within the gay community... we go from meeting someone... to instant relationship very quickly. And when this fizzles after a few weeks or months... we harbour unnecessary emotions and feelings against someone we never really got to know.

Personally I would only consider myself having two Exs. Each of these people I dated for several years, but I am a different breed. In my own head and dating life I have crafted my own little timeline of progression.

There is a time of getting to know the person, just casual hanging out discovering the likes and dislikes and who they are. And figuring out if this is a person I want to date, be friends with, or avoid at all costs.

Then I progress into dating. This is when the masks begin to come off. During this time I learn the intricacies of their habits, learn more about the friends they surround themselves with, and where they are going in life. Here I learn if this is someone I could be in a relationship with.

Once I am in a relationship... I have been fully committed not only to the person but to the friendship of our relationship. This is when I am finally willing to work on the relationship and the hurdles that come before it.

But anyway back to the conversation.... so one person was talking about their ex and how the mere sight of him irks the hell out of him. When I inquired how long they dated and I was told a couple of months... it baffled me that one... he was considering this person his ex and two... someone could emote that feeling after such a short period of time.

I think words are powerful... and titles can be even more so... so how does one define what makes an Ex.

Celebrating 50 Years of Ailey

For the past 12 years, I have attended the Alvin Ailey American Dance Theater's U.S. tour and this year the company celebrates its 50th Anniversary and kicks off its tour tonight here in Washington.

I am quite excited to be able to attend two shows during this engagement which includes a brand new Anniversary Highlights program that spans each decade of Ailey's phenomenal career and features excerpts from many of Alvin Ailey's most popular and beloved ballets: Blues Suite, Streams, Choral Dances, Mary Lou's Mass, The Lark Ascending, Hidden Rites, Night Creature, Cry, Phases, Landscape, For "Bird" – With Love, Caverna Magica, and Opus McShann. Ailey, a fellow Texan, choreographed over 79 ballets during his lifetime, with the most famous being Revelations.

Alvin Ailey American Dance Theater is one of the few opportunities to see the diversity of African American culture, art, and talent in a two hour span.

Dinner and a show... the way life should be lived.