Tired of Sensitive Men


Asshole... Arrogant... Pretentious... Uppity... Pompous... Jerk... Bourgeois...

All terms I have been called to compensate for other's lack of inner confidence and ability to handle my personality.

Real... Consistent... Honest... Frank... Direct... Forthright


I am tired of feeling sorry for bruising people's fragile egos... and swear some of your parent's did such a disservice to you as you were growing up. The world is not always nice... never will be. I never understood why everyone has this "fairy tell" perception of reality and think that everyone is supposed to be nice and sweet. Where was that ever written? Did I miss that class at birth, maybe I was too busy telling the doctor his breath was just a bit tart? But for me I would choose reality and truth over some sugarcoated bullshit any day!!

People are so used to having their egos stroked… and people walking on egg shells around them that when they finally hear someone be upfront and honest with them they can’t handle it.

Now with this being said, I rarely (note I did not say never, just rarely) attempt to be malicious to anyone. But sometimes you just really need to hear the truth as plain and simple as it can possibly be delivered. I am not a mean person... and probably one of the best friends you could possibly ever have... but I am me and I will always be me. And what you may see as a fault... I may see as rather positive character trait.

11 comments:

reddstar said...

Amen! Lately I have been feeling the same way. I am tired of having to choose my words carefully as not to upset people. This whole editing of myself is giving me a headache and is more effort than it is worth. Like you I don't think i mean to harm anyone, however i will admit that at times it would seem that i am missing the sensitivity chip (referring to Jennifer Aniston's comments about Brad Pitt). with that in mind I tried to tone it down, but it only causes me not to be me and I am a better person when I am just me. Also those who truely know me, know that i dont mean any harm with what I say and keep moving. People are overly sensitive and dont want to take responsibility for anything if they can help it. I think I have said too much....lol.

Cocoa Rican said...

Oddly, I’ve been called abrasive, aggressive and selfish by some of my friends and managed to change that perception by growing up and softening up a bit. Unfortunately, my move back to NYC brought me full circle to the very folks who had this perception of me and now could not handle the new “kinder” person that rejoined the crew. Needless to say, I slowly (but SURELY) returned to being the person I was… albeit a bit more refined – because I would’ve been consumed by those who take kindness as weakness.

In the eternal words of my girl Storm, “HOLD ON TO SOMETHING!”

celeste said...

its all about being your authentic self

life said...

If you keep getting that feedback consistenly...maybe people aren't that sensitive. You could very well be all of those things. However, I agree with you. Ppl need to get themselves. Maybe you need to tailor your approach, because you are getting some unfavorable results.

Kensilo said...

In today's society people are too hung up on what a person says or how a comment comes out. Everyone's different no matter what they say or how they act. If they cannot handle the truth or they feel that you did not say what they wanted to hear then that is a sign that they are not worth your time and concern. Always be yourself and stay true to you. As long as you keep yourself in check and deal with your personal flaws in a postive way then that is all that matters. Shake the haters off ... LOL..and keep going forward in life!

That Dude Right There said...

Maybe you are insensitive. If multiple people are telling you the same thing then there may be some truth to it. I had to reevaluate myself because I was a "shoot from the hip" kinda person. I still am, but I now think about how what I say can affect other people. And sometimes it's not what you say, but how you say it.

Rahman said...

I am with you man. You have to be the you that you are. I had to recently write about that as well. I'd rather an authentic asshole than a fake nice person.

Anonymous said...

But do we have to be assholes, or nasty or negative, I’m all for being upfront and truthful but there is such a thing as tack. If you are constantly coming off negative than you may need to re-evaluate your approach toward the people in your life when u are address issues you have with them. If we take the time to think before we speak than 9 times out of 10 it will be received and respected. That’s the ultimate goal isn't it? hell what do i know im a sensitive type of guy lol

ReddMann said...

I think the message of the post is not being seen. I specifically stated I am never (or rarely) malicious with my statements. And the point of the message was to warn you I am who I am and I am not changing... other people's insecurities and inability to accept my directness is their issue not mine. So either deal or move on... your choice.

It isn't about being mean or being an asshole. You can be direct and not be an asshole.

Anonymous said...

You can be direct and not be an asshole however you perhaps should not be so direct with everyone. If you claim to love someone then no you do not need to stroke their egos if they have faults...You do them a disservice however one is not supposed to be thme over the head with their faults either. Sometimes gentle firmness and subtle highlighting of one' flaws can work much better than harsh words. Does it not say in the Bible that a harsh word stirs up wrath? Of course this is just an opinion. Why hsould have to change or even bring up such an issue if maybe you didn't feel that you had to defend that part of yourself. If you trully are so innocently direct and honest then be that and care not what others think, even if they are sharing your bed or life...

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