Me and one of my bestfriends and his boyfriend for two years were leaving a party a party a few weeks ago, when we started discussing my ex that appeared at the party with his new beau. I was quite upset that he would bring this new person and try to appear so happy in a party I organized without at the very least giving me a headsup. What made the evening even more disturbing was the fact that in his hug goodbye his hands went to places that would have gotten him knocked out if it didn't feel so gooooood.....
Anyway back to the car ride home... we were discussing my perpetual state of dating someone for a few months before casting them to the side because they do not live up to my expectations. It was on this ride home that he said something that I can still here ringing in my ears, "Just as like we sit here discussing other people at the party... someone is discussing us and you as well. Have you ever thought that the reason people are not coming into your life is because they can see all the baggage you are carrying."
I sat there in complete quiet just saying over and over.. "damn ..... I never thought about that."
So that conversation, the trip to Montreal, yoga this past Saturday and the conversations I have had since I have been home, have driven me to finally let it go. I have tend to give so much of myself in relationships that I always feel the desire to keep the exs around if for nothing more than friends. But at the same time always wondering what if.... Sometimes this has brought nothing but headaches but yet I deal. But not anymore I am letting it go... releasing that energy that is binding me and opening the window to the new opportunities that have recently presented themselves.
Post- Mortem
1 week ago
4 comments:
Thanks for sharin' your heart man.
It's hard to let go ... especially when 'he' still has some type of pull on you. It's hard to see 'him' with someone ... when you're not completely 'done' with him ... although you've long sense ended the relationship.
I've always believed that one should never bring old furniture into a new house. People can see the pain and hurt still lingerin' from ur past experience. In order to allow new energy in ... you might wanna consider releasin' da old.
Ya boi n Jerzee!
LAWD have mercy!!!!
Why are we on the same track? I think that I am tending to let me baggage go, but I'm sure there more baggage where that came from. Hopefully not though. So I tend to keep my ex's around too. Well I dont' really have many, but anyone who I say that I am in a relationship with and some who I am not I have kept around.
When you think that you could have feelings for ur ex again, just remember why y'all broke up in the first place. That's what I do. Some relationship are better left platonic.
Yes Good Job !!! Let em go so somebody else can come in !!!
One of things we (especially men) sometimes do is spend WAY too much time gettin over lovers. what many of us fail to realize it that WE are in full control of how long that process last. So how do u move on? determine how much more time u r goin to allow this person to occupy space in our brain. (I recommend setting an actual date to be done) do what u need to do to process through the emotions but also start working on you. U are right the baggage shows and u have to consider the possibility that the longer you waste time "gettin over" your ex, the less time you have to prepare yourself for the person who's waitin on u to be free. Lastly, while u are doing the work on yourself, strive towards allowing yourself to move into a space where YOU are ok with or without another person and remember if you cant be with yourself, then you cant expect anybody else to. good luck and be well.
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