The Last Supper...

Returning to work on Monday brought about the endless, "How was your Thanksgiving?" questions. After the third time I even considered drafting a company wide/ worldwide email draft of What I did over my Thanksgiving Holiday. And of course if I didn't ask, "And you?" at the end of my recollection, I would have been deemed as being rude. Damn that phone for not ringing on cue. I noticed in everyone's account how they seemed to brag about how much they ate... like being glutenous was the new badge of honor.

I have always wondered why do people pile food on their plates on Thanksgiving and Christmas like it was going to be their last supper. I have never understood why people bring out their finest china and then completely cover it with food... often twice and three times as much as what they would eat on a regular day.

And maybe it wouldn't be bad if the only fruit on the plate wasn't cranberry sauce covering the carb heaven of dressing... and the only green vegetable wasn't collard greens infused with that good ole pork hamhock. But usually the plate has several different carbs and sauces that are just not good for the waistline.

Besides we are in a recession... this is a time to conserve and save... besides nobody wants to hear in January about how you got to loose all those holiday pounds.

Is Prop 8 coming to DC?

Well not exactly....

Friday's Washington Blade details an upcoming community-wide forum to debate whether the City Council should take up a same-sex marriage bill in January. Twelve of DC's 13 city council members and Mayor Adrian Fenty support same-sex marriage. However many, including me, wonder if now is the right time to begin this battle for two reasons.

Reason number 1 - While I believe DC is a progressive city, many thought the same of the state of California. At least for now (until the gentrification keeps pushing us into PG county), 57 percent of the population in DC is black, and several black gay activists believe gay marriage supporters must significantly increase their efforts to reach out to blacks, other minorities, and the historic black churches in the District. While I will not get into the debate of Prop 8 vs the Blacks of California... I will say it is definitely going to have to be an education platform for this bill not to be repealed, since we know it will definitely pass the council.

Reason number 2 - Is specifically Home Rule. As we all know DC is not a state but a District. And although us residents are taxed like any other state we do not have representation in Congress and Congress has the authority to overturn any law the DC Council comes up with. So until DC has legislative autonomy not only will the city have to vote on this but so will Congress.

While it pains me to think that we have to pick our civil right battles, I think the focus of all tax paying DC residents should be on statehood and representation. Getting it through the Council and off Mayor Fenty's desk is only the mere beginning, preventing challenges from some of the population and by Congress will be the issue.

The December 11 community forum on a D.C. same-sex marriage bill is scheduled to be held at 7 p.m. at the Human Rights Campaign’s Equality Center at 1649 Rhode Island Ave., NW and I plan to be there.

about Harvey Milk

As the angry voices bitch and complain about why Proposition 8 repealed the rights for gay Californians to marry, a film that recalls a similar battle 30 years ago has made its way into theaters.

This Friday, I had the opportunity to catch the Gus Van Sant film, Milk. Excellently played by Sean Penn, Harvey Milk's story begins in 1970, in New York, where the straight-laced, closeted gay man, who happens to be a Republican meets a younger man on a subway platform. Although it seems to be like an impossible connection between the two, Milk's quirky personality captures Scott played by James Franco back to his house and eventually in his life. They relocate to San Francisco's Castro neighborhood which is just becoming the gay district we know now. After leading a gay boycott of homophobic businesses and helping unionize Coors beer company, Milk sets out on several unsuccessful attempts at an elected office.

Seeing this film is based on a true story, we know that Milk is eventually sworn into office in January of 1978. This is where the story turns to Milk's involvement in the defeat of the then Proposition 6, a law that would allow people to be fired from their jobs because they were gay or supported gays. A proposition which was familiarly promoted by religious fanatics that love to think their fundamental religious beliefs rule, when however this country which was actually built on separation of church and state and religious freedom. Harvey Milk's voice of hope and change made him a major figure in the battle against social intolerance, but he unfortunately never lived to see the major changes his modest, yet, political triumph helped facilitate.

What I loved about the film, was first a story that I was unfamiliar with but found very important in our history and at the same time very appropriate for what is going on now. But also Penn's portrayal of Harvey Milk was excellent. I love when you loose a recognizable actor to the person they are playing, and Penn does this flawlessly. I definitely recommend this film and will probably see it again.

Only Appropriate to Have History... by Jay-Z

I am loving this song, but the visuals brought about an appropriate emotion for me.



Enjoy Your Holiday...

~

The Next Big Bailout

To hell with Citigroup... I could careless about Ford... If Barack and Geithner want to stimulate the economy and get people to spend more he needs to alleviate student loan debt.

The average student graduates with an undergraduate degree with about $21,000 in debt. While current Treasury Secretary Henry Paulson recently proposed to bailout the student loan industry, I personally feel the logic makes no sense. By wiping clear the debt that students have would free up billions of dollars for us debt ridden scholars to make big life changing purchases like homes and new cars. And even invest in the ever failing stock market or finally contribute to the endowment of either of my universities.

Personally with my three degrees (I could have done without two of them but that why 18yo shouldn't go to college post is for another day), I am well over $50,000 in debt to U.S. Department of Education. But yet the government will bailout executives who refuse to fly first class because anything beneath private leer jet is beneath them or send out stupid $600 stimulus checks that don't really stimulate anything. If they want to stimulate my economy get rid of my student loans!!

Have You Met My Friend Vicodin...

So Wednesday morning at 11:30am, 45 minutes after my scheduled appointment, I finally sat down in Dr. Merlow's chair.

After two weeks of hearing the horror stories of people having their wisdom teeth removed I was finally feeling the IV put into my left arm. I have never been given a non local anesthesia to and all I could think of was that movie where the guy is put to sleep during surgery but doesn't go all the way to sleep and feels every moment of the surgery. I actually think I was more afraid of the anesthesia than having my cute Italian doctor ripping four teeth out of my mouth.

Well after the prick of the IV, the next thing I remembered was the nurse removing the oxygen from my nose. It was over. No excruciating pain... just a lil woosy as my friend Domo walks in to take me home with a much needed stop at Smoothie King since I wasn't able to eat since dinner the night before.

I now sit on my couch with Haagen Dazs Caramel Cone, Vitamin Water and my friend Vicodin... wishing for some Baja Fresh, Five Guys, or Matchbox.

Blogs I Am Reading...

Well the new blog I am checking out is from fellow District resident, Troy Barrington Lilly.

Very good writer check his blog out...

http://urbansophistic.blogspot.com

And I already mentioned this last week I think but another District resident

has joined the blog world...

http://www.districtrazzi.com

Introducing GQ's Man of the Year

Gotta love it.

Maxwell has Returned...

So last night I had the opportunity to check out Maxwell's "Black Summer Night" tour featuring Jazmine Sullivan. And I must say that both artist captivated the maxed out crowd with mesmerizing performances.

Philly girl Jazmine with crowbar in hand, opened the concert with Bust Your Windows, the ode of pissed off lovers. While I have been vibing her new CD that dropped last month, it was good to see a young artist who can actually perform outside of the studio as well. As much as I hate to compare her style... I would have to say she is definitely a mix of the newer Alicia Keys and the Miseducation Lauryn Hill. As the opening act she definitely energized the crowd which continued as Maxwell returned to the stage after a good 6 or 7 year hiatus.

Maxwell gave us a vibe of a old jazz club waltzing to the stage in his tux with one sole Billie-esque backup singer. Before I continue about the concert I must say it often pains me to see such talented artist singing backup when the Cassie's of the world get record deals. The crowd sang along with the 90 minutes or so of his hit songs, This Woman's Work, Fortunate, and Lifetime as well as a few songs from part one of his upcoming album trilogy. I think the entire audience had been anticipating the return of Maxwell as much as I and was singing along and shouting to the stage, right along with me... and there was even a pair of blue panties that ended up flying on stage. If the tour hasn't passed by your city yet I definitely recommend you checking this out... well worth the price of the ticket.

Maxwell is quoted as saying, "This is a second chapter for me, and I'm going to let the cycle of music do its own thing." I can only say we are definitely in for a treat if it is anything like the first chapter and what DC saw last night.

Evangelical Christian Republicans Make Me Sick

Love one another... blah blah blah

Do not judge.... blah blah blah

I love it when these holier than though, family values, gay bashing Republicans get caught up in scandal whether it is trolling for dick in an airport restroom or getting caught in same sex S & M acts or with prostitutes in luxury hotel rooms (no such thing as bad press).

I love it because each time I hope that these people and their followers will finally wake up and  realize the truth that no one is perfect and maybe they shouldn't judge other people's struggle or path in life. 

But alas they don't and their scorned leader is casted aside until they make a ugly face tearful plea on national TV begging for forgiveness. 

So now the former minister who was once one of Time's top 25 most influential evangelicals in America, is stating he was sexually abused as a child and that the experience "started to rage in my mind and in my heart" when he was caught up in a sex scandal involving a male prostitute.  

Why is it they always want to run and blame an alleged sexual abuse on turning them to gay sex... sounds very Donnie McClurkish to me.  And why do people keep believing this nonsense. I just hope there is a warm place in these people's future.

No Words

Is This Bitch Tryin' to Read

I thought this email I just got from Bally's was worth a kackle or 3.... (my thoughts in red)

-----Original Message-----
From: Cruz, Jesse Jesse.Cruz@Ballyfitness.com
To: ME
Sent: Tue, 11 Nov 2008 1:55 pm
Subject: How are you Charles?

Hello Charles,

We have chosen a new President... Isn't it about time you choose a New You? (whats wrong with the old me)
Change is coming to Washington... Are you ready to change Your Waistline? (is this bitch tryin to read)
You have made a decision for our Country... It's time to make the right decision for Your Life! (so I assume those porkchops last night were the wrong decision)
You cast your vote, now come into Bally!

It is the perfect time for a new beginning... You have been thinking about it long enough! It's time to do something about it! (i like thinking things through before jumping into rash decisions thank you very much)
Print this email for a free personal training assessment, workout profile and group exercise class!

Plus just look at some of the great deals ballys has to offer!!!!
Best start personal training package: Receive 4 one-on-one training sessions with a personal trainer for $149!!! On a budget? (budgets are foor poor people... hell yeah I am on one) Chose from our Selection of value plans starting at $34.99 per month for local club access!!! So many new deals we cant list them all on one page!!! We also have special Unadvertised Membership Plans!!

The time is Now, The person is You, The place is Bally!! SEE YOU AT THE TOP!! (how did you know?!?!)

Larry Kouch
Club Manager
Bally Total Fitness - 1201 Joyce ST. C-6
Arlington, Virginia 22202
P:703-416-5131

Hey! How Are You? Long Time No Speak...

I am so feeling this Washington Post article, Hey! How Are You? Long Time No Speak... Since Tuesday I have had 11 requests of people asking to crash at my spot.

Now if I had a palatial estate in the suburbs with staff, I wouldn't mind accommodating most of the requests... however I live in a one bedroom/ one bath apartment about 7 blocks from the National Mall and 10 from the Capital. And being an only child who never had to share... I am really selfish about my space, and who I allow in it.

But anyway I see that I am not the only Washingtonian getting calls and emails from people I haven't spoken to in years.

So a friend of mine and fellow district resident just started a new blog...

check him out.

www.districtrazzi.com

~

Random Thoughts this Thursday Morning about the Election

1. He is Barack Obama, the President elect, the 44th President of the United States... he is not the next messiah... he is not our saviour. This country, if not the entire world, must manage our expectations.

2. As soon as John McCain was announced as the Republican nominee, even when Hilary was still in the race, I knew then that Barack would win... but it wasn't until Tuesday night when I heard the news call the race that I could exhale.

3. Wasn't it amazing to see all of those people in Grant Park Tuesday night and the diversity of races and age. And then they cut to McCain's speech and all you see are lilly white faces. Now which one represents the America we live in now.

4. Who would have thought someone named Barack Hussein Obama, let alone a black man, would ever be President of the U.S.

5. Wasn't it amazing to see the news cut to places all over the world celebrating Barack's and America's achievement.

6. My annual trip to Atlanta for MLK weekend has been officially cancelled... No way I am missing Inaugural weekend this go around for some over priced circuit parties.

7. Interesting to see the first child named after Obama was born on election day. Sanjae Obama Fisher was born at 8 p.m. EST on Election Day at Hollywood's Memorial Regional Hospital to Patrick and Sasha Hall Fisher.

8. My hero on the election...

Yes President Obama... We Can!!

Can There Be a Gay Series... that isn't Stereotypical?

With the recent theatrical release of Noah's Arc, which did surprisingly well even with a very limited release and relatively little if any promotion by Logo; and Clay Cane's recent post about the here! TV viewer's poll about DL Chronicles... my mind started wondering.... Can there be a gay series... that isn't stereotypical?

Queer As Folk
I recently started watching this series thanks to my Netflix subscription. After seeing the first two seasons I couldn't shake out of my head... why the white gay community didn't revolt about this series or did they and I just missed it?

The entire show portrayed white gay Pittsburgh as being sex fiends that enjoyed sex in back rooms of clubs and functioning drug addicts that need to snort something to dance to the techno beats of Babylon. While I am not denying this occurs, it is just interesting that it consumed the first two seasons. But I guess sex sales. I will say that in between the endless sexual escapades and the relationships of the five friends, the show does explore critical gay political and health issues such as HIV, gay bashing, and gay rights.

Noah's Arc
The short lived, and only reason I subscribed to Logo, series is definitely one that causes a lot of tension and bloguments (blog arguments). It seems if you are the least bit critical of this series you are hating and against feminine men. While I did subscribe to Logo for the two seasons just to see the show, I thought the series could use some serious production help.

The character's ranged from Ricky the sexaholic to Alex the loud mouth queen to Noah the naive twink. I couldn't relate to the characters on a personal level and thought the story lines were often rushed and far fetched but the show did what it was supposed to do... entertain. And along its very short tenure it did touch on some important gay issues such as HIV and gay parenting.

DL Chronicles
By far my favorite series and by far the shortest of them all. The stereotype here is evident from the series' name. But of the 4 episodes, only 2 of them actually deal with men cheating on women with other men. The other two episodes deal with gay men hiding from society and themselves. I am hoping that in the second season of this series the writers/directors Quincey and Deondray explore the DL lives of women.

This stigma of the DL life, thanks to JL King, has been used to scare straight women instead of enlightening them. Episode 1 - Wes and Episode 2 - Boo... don't combat those themes.

Will & Grace

By far one of the most popular shows to air on NBC and probably one of the few network shows when it premiered to have a gay lead character. The stereotype here is just Jack. The very flamboyant character definitely kept the laughs coming and also didn't let you forget that this series was about gay men living in NY and their two hags.

So after thinking of the four gay series that I have watched... I am left wondering if it is even possible to remove all stereotypes. And if all the stereotypes were removed... would the shows be as good? Does every show have to show a positive image of the community it is reflected? Or can these stereotypes bring necessary attention to causes and people... like the Wire did to Baltimore. Definitely no answers here today... just observations and questions.

No Words... ok maybe a few

This nonsense must stop.... definitely a good laugh!!

Random Thoughts this Friday Morning about Politics...

1. I am not well that Ms. Joe Six Pack Hockey Mom bought her 7 year old daughter a Louis Vuitton purse.... actually I am jealous as a muthafucka.... jade as hell... I mean couldn't Jane the Plumber get me a duffle or a wallet??

2. If you are still claiming to be undecided... you are either slightly racist or stupid. I will let you decide.

3. I think these political ads on TV should be banned. I think they should just take an ad out in every paper... do a side by side comparison on where they stand on the issues... have a few debates.... and let us vote and leave my damn commercial breaks between Grey's Anatomy alone.

4. Speaking of getting rid of things... the Electoral College should be the first thing to go. I think if more Americans understood that their votes don't actually elect the President... this would be a more prominent issue.

5. So if McCain doesn't win... error when McCain doesn't win... does that mean Sarah "I Can See Russia from my porch" Palin is first in line to run for the Republican Presidential nomination in 4 years.

6. Why are people still interviewing the ultimate hater, Jesse "Never Had A Real Job' Jackson?

7. So Early Voting has started in several states... I wonder how they are going to fuck this up.

8. So I heard on the news that Philadelphia is preparing for possible riots... just in case Obama doesn't win... if they do riot I hope they don't destroy their own shit this time.

9. Is it just me or does anyone often wonder since McCain has millions... why doesn't he get his teeth whitened?

10. Damnit is it November 4th yet.... Enough Already!!

It has been a little over a year since I moved back to DC. And life right now is no where near what I had expected it to be when I moved back.

Today in a conversation with a friend about FLJ, he mentioned he never knew how I really felt about him because I never really stated. After the death of Terrence and a string of unsuccessful dating situations, I began to keep a lot of that part of my life quiet. I simply felt that no one needs to know every detail about what is going on in my dating life.

My relationship with FLJ was quite unique one. We dated off and on since 2003. Even when we weren't dating we remained really good friends, so the definition of our relationship was often quite blurry even to those who knew us well. When I made the decision to return to Washington it wasn't purely for the reason of the job opportunity that had been presented to me. I sought out the job because of the decision to be closer to FLJ during his fight with cancer. I never told anyone this part of my decision to leave Atlanta because I was one of those who said I would never move for a man... well I did, never say never I guess. FLJ also made it very clear he wouldn't be in a committed relationship with me until the battle with cancer was over. He felt it was too much to ask one person to deal with. Regardless I told him I would see him through it. During one of my visits to DC from Atlanta we talked about our future and began to make plans to move to NYC in the fall of 2008 by then the cancer would be gone. I guess Peter Drucker was right when he said, "Unless commitment is made, there are only promises and hopes; but no plans."

But life is what it is now. I work incredible amounts of hours now and often only have other time to sleep and relax for a few hours a day. I don't have the network of friends I had when I lived here before so to distract me for my lacking personal life I fill the time with work. But that is helping me meet those financial goals I have set for myself.

This Sunday was the first time I had been out in DC in such a long time and it felt oh so good. To hang with some old friends, have several drinks and reclaim that socialite status if for only one night. Celebrating a friends birthday and just hanging out with my boy JC was just what I needed. Less the immature kids fighting outside the bar... these bars really need to be a little more selective about who they let in.

JC has been quite a needed relief. Our lazy afternoons and early evenings at our local gathering place/lounge/bookstore/restaurant/etc. talking about friendships, travel, blogging, and life are one of the few things I really enjoy about being back in DC. I shouldn't totally down my time in DC this time I guess it isn't all that bad, it just isn't the DC I once knew.

As for the random guys I have met since being back... I really didn't take any of them serious. They were all mere placeholders something to occupy time with. Now that I have typed that it sounds really mean... they were mostly nice but really no connection. My bestfriend has told me once before that I write people off to quickly... "they do one thing you don't like and we never hear there name again." Which is mostly true... I just feel relationships should be easy and drama free in the beginning... and if they aren't usually that is how it will be throughout. And as an Aries I have little or no patience. But with that said there isn't much to comment on those guys because there has been nothing happening.

Since being back in DC from my two trips to LA, I have been eating a lot healthier... not on some crazy ass nuts, berries and tofu but just more healthier... chicken tacos instead of beef... baked sweet potatoes instead of rice... grilled pork chops instead of fried. Now if only I could get the drive to take my out of shape ass to the gym.

So I am just being me... perfectly imperfect... still creating my HisStory....

~

My Hero Endorses Obama

Finding Me

My decision on which film to see at Reel Affirmations this weekend was made a lot easier Friday, when I received a call from Derrick L. Briggs telling me he would make a cameo appearance in DC for the screening of his film, Finding Me.

I met up with Mr. Briggs and several cast members and crew near the historic Lincoln Theatre where the film was being screened. The entire team was very personable and I am still trying to figure out how to get RayMartell's blazer... he better not slip up!

So the film, Finding Me, is about Faybien a 21yo Caribbean American, played by RayMartell, who is struggling with his sexuality, finding a purpose in life, and the expectations of his father. His interactions with his two best friends and love interest, Lonnie, played by Derrick, help him along his journey of finding himself.

So of course you are wondering... what I thought. I thought Derrick was very believable in his role. His character didn't seem forced and flowed pretty naturally. RayMartell's character was meant to be indecisive and passive. By the end of the movie I was so over him, we all know how I feel about passive people... so I think he also played his character successfully. The other characters were ok for the most, J'Nara Corbin who plays one of the bestfriends reminded me of one of my homegirls from undergrad and provided plenty comic relief throughout the movie.

What I didn't like about the film were the transitions from scene to scene and the sound quality at times felt like a roller coaster ride, which could have been an issue with the theater and not the film. The only other issue that I have noticed in black gay films is that the script often doesn't reflect real conversations. It often feels as if the actors are quoting lines instead of having a conversation.

With that said the very hot chemistry and nude sex scene between Derrick and RayMartell is enough of a reason to see the film. Overall it was descent and I enjoyed it. Derrick, Ray and J'Nara definitely made it for me. And all I will say as I end this post is that Derrick has a wonderful ass.

"Palin" around with Terrorists...

Today marks 96 days left for Bush 43 as President of the United States. Today I had to go to the White House for meetings and had the opportunity to tour the grounds and see a Presidential departure.

Regardless of whomever sits in the Oval Office... the protocol, the history and the future of the White House was still amazing to see first hand for the first time. Definitely looking forward to going back this Saturday for a tour of the West Wing...

Random Thoughts this Tuesday Morning...

1. This week marks the 18th annual Reel Affirmations, the nation's capitol LGBT film festival. Usually there are a few (very few) films geared toward African-Americans... unfortunately this year Finding Me starring Maurice Murrell and blogger, Derrick L. Briggs has been scheduled around the same time as Dreams Deffered: The Sakia Gunn Film Project. What to do... what to do...

2. So the gays are mostly all excited about Beyonce's two new projects that have come out this past week... I have only heard the one about the Ring on the Finger... didn't move me at all. I felt it was unoriginal and sounded like a couple of other songs on her B'day album. Thanks to Valentino I saw the video last night... loved it. Especially the part where she (her choreographer) incorporated J-setting into the routine. As much as I hate J-setting it was good that she was finally original about something... I can't see any other artist doing that.

3. Clay Cane has blogged about the lack of talent of some of today's artist compared to those of the past. Listening to the lyrics of Ring on the Finger and lot of other songs just made me randomly think of this.

4. So Bank of America has this feature called My Portfolio... not going to go into all the features but it allows you to be able to look at all your current credit card balances in one spot... lets just say I am more in debt that I first imagined. My April 1 deadline has just been pushed back to June 1.

5. Can someone tell the gas stations in DC that gas prices are falling????

6. Saw Eagle Eye this weekend... pretty good movie definitely enjoyed that. Looking forward to seeing the Secret Lives of Bees and W. this weekend. Anybody got a movie gift card to give me?!?!

7. As much as I disdain Elisabeth Hassleback on the View and her black and white point of view. I don't think I would watch anymore if she left to go to FOX news. I look forward to Joy and Whoopi giving her a wake up call each day and the occasional brilliant moments of Sherrie Shepard.

8. Is it November 4th yet?

9. There will be no ATL for me this upcoming MLK holiday... seeing that it falls on Inaugural weekend, seeing Obama sworn is a lot more important than a few overpriced parties in Atlanta.

10. To those who have emailed me... Thanks for the emails, I do read them all, respond to some that require it... and yes I will do an update on me, dating, and past dates you have read about here.

Religulous... my take

So last night me and a friend went to see Bill Maher's religious documentary, Religulous. In the film comedian Bill Maher looks at the presence of religion in many of the big news stories of recent years, from Muslim riots over cartoons of Muhammad, to the Ten Commandments in front of courthouses, a born-again Christian in the White House and Scientology in the birthing room.

I must say Bill has captured the current thoughts of organized religion that have been circling in my head and coming to live for the past several months.

Most organized religion requires someone to embrace some form of blind faith. It is this faith, by its very nature requires a gigantic leap into irrationality, it is almost impossible to explain or to defend in rational terms. And this impossibility that frustrates and enrages most believers... when instead it should lead to a lot of self thought.

In the film Maher examines Christianity, the Islamic faith, Judaism, and Catholicism (by far my favorite fairy tale of them all) Equally diving into each religion and questioning why we believe what we believe. He also looks into the story of Jesus Christ... from the immaculate conception to his death and shows how the story resembles even older stories such as the story of Horus in Greek mythology and Mithras in the Roman religions.

While I, like Bill, must admit I haven't figured it all out and I am not quite sure what I believe. But I do believe the stories of the Bible are taken a little too literal... like Jonah living inside a fish.

I think the movie is good for those who have no faith or are quite strong in their faith and those that are able to look at other views of taboo subjects without being angered.

War by Alexei Jendayi & Sol Edler

Watch this music video by Alexei Jendayi and DC resident and friend of a friend, Sol Edler to get a more personal look at the war. Then SPREAD THE WORD by sharing this message with your friends, relatives, and colleagues.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lPDJtS

The video is from Alexei's latest release, November 4 EP (http://www.November4EP.com )

DO SOMETHING!

Register to vote NOW (deadlines fast approaching) and vote early in states that permit early voting!
http://www.voteforchange.com/

It wasn't until I was well out of college and had been living on my own for years that it came to my realization that my mother has no concept of money.

Every time I would visit home there would be something new and obnoxious in her house and when I would ask about it she would say... oh that was only XX a month and I got XX percent off.

Growing up if I had a great day, I was rewarded by going to the mall and buying something new for myself... if I had a bad day, I was cheered up by going to the mall and buying something new. For many going to the mall to get something may be nothing. But for me growing up I never really asked for much. I never had to have the latest games or clothes. But this behavior growing up only continued into my adulthood.

By the time I graduated from Auburn, I had over $3000 in credit card debt. And while I thank my mother for most of it... there were no lessons of fiscal responsibility... and all those free credit card offers on campus didn't help. I have since paid that $3000 off twice over. But now after the Atlanta job situation and everything going on here I have found myself once again in credit card debt... $7000 this time. Entering into a recession only makes me fearful of having such debt... which is why I will be grinding like crazy to pay off this debt. I will be working like a mad man... cutting expenses... taking no personal trips... and watching my spending until I get this under control.

Now with groceries costs... gas... skyrocketing. And my rent going up next month... this will definitely be a challenge but my goal is to be credit card debt free by April 1... lets see if I make it.

After i lost FLJ in June I went into solitude and a mild depression. The rest of the summer proved to be difficult but there was light at the end of the tunnel. As I packed things away except for a few pictures, I tried to return to somewhat of a normal life (still trying to figure out what that is).

Then the recent murder of my friend Randolph... and last week I was at my breaking point. I was loosing my faith quickly and was left questioning God.

After pouring my heart out to my therapist, I got in my truck and on my way home for some reason I seemed to notice the myraid amount of homeless people... I then saw a mother with three kids struggling to make the bus before it pulled off with bags of what seemed like clothes in her hand.... then I found out my mother had been in an accident and totalled her car.... when I got home I got a call from Department of Ed wondering why I hadn't been paying my student loans the past two months... all the time thinking FLJ had set up the direct pay but then I remembered he was no longer here.

Again at my breaking point... a much needed "work" trip back to Los Angeles was what I needed to escape life only for a few days. Lucky for me instead of being at the Beverly Wilshire... I was going to the Four Seasons Westlake Village which is host to the California Longevity and Health Institute. Upon arriving and checking in my first session was with a doctor that taught a lesson on kaizen and making a great change in life one small step at a time. Virtually in tears throughout the session, the doctor came up to me afterwards and smiled as he shook my hand. I told him that 30 minute lecture was worth flying across country.

The rest of last week went with early early early morning walks and hikes around the property... lots of exercise.... spa treatments, massages and relaxing by the serenity pool... and hands on healthy cooking lessons...

I spent the final night in LA, with my bestfriend and another good friend. With a little bit of my sanity regained, I was on an early morning flight back to the Right coast. And for the first time ever... I actually wasn't ready to leave LA.

~

You Got To Be Fucking Kidding Me

http://livesteez.com//videos/watch/48ygRlV

nam nyoho renge kyo.... just skip to 5:30 and listen... and this pedophile is on the streets

Random Thoughts this Monday Morning...

1. So a friend of mine was attacked on his way to BeBar here in DC this past Sunday... and now lies in Howard University Hospital in a coma. Since promoters only care about the bottom line and not the safety of their crowds; since it isn't even safe to walk a block from your car to a bar, even in the Nation's capital; because the value of life is not something people seem to understand.... Be careful and alert of your surroundings

2. I guess the new Maxwell National tour means he is back... now can I get an album release date?

3. Aren't we all happy Oprah is back!

4. Why does it seem that all the good movies come out around the same time. Sometimes I can go weeks without wanting to see anything that has come out and then there will be a weekend like this one where there were 4 movies I wanted to see.

5. Back to LA later this week.... 2 trips in one month...

6. Back to the gym next week... its been a number of months now since I have been but I really need to get back to it. Maybe I need a workout partner... it is sooo easy for me to get distracted and fall off.

7. Why does it seem like everyone around me is more concerned with Hurricane Ike than I was and all were surprised by this. Yes Katirna was devestating to my family but it wasn't the first and won't be the last hurricane we go through. And it definitely wasn't the same situation.

8. I don't understand why people think this election is going to be close.... Obama and McCain are so polar opposites on the issues that it should be a cut and dry decision. It amazes me that the stunts of adding a woman to the ticket will persuade people to bypass how they feel about the true issues is quite disappointing.

9. Did anyone see The Family that Prey's... I hope it was better than that $*#!%(!? Meet the Browns.

10. Lawd JHud engaged to a I Love NY cast off.... what kind of fuckery. Let us go to the Lawd in prayer.

11. FLJ Jr.

The Women have Returned...

So I finally saw the remake of The Women. Since I loved the original and love Jada so I had to see it. I won't go through a long critique of the movie but I will say that it really impressed me to be a remake.

It is rare that remakes adapt to current times but stay true to the original movie; but the writer/director Diane English were able to accomplish that. From the names of the characters... down to the fashion show sequence Diane played great homage to the original 1939 classic film.

However Jada's depiction of a lesbian in 2008 was quite disappointing and quite cartoonish. (And I know we are all thinking if anyone can play a lesbo Jada would be able to pull it off) The whole sitting like a a construction worker... the dating a trite less than super model... the awful choice of a lesbo restaurant.... made me wonder does English even know or tried to know any gay people before altering the original script to include this.

While by far not a great movie... definitely a good and entertaining movie, that I enjoyed this past Sunday evening.

From the Streets of West Baltimore... to the Boulevards of Beverly Hills

The ubercutie Tristan Wilds made his move to the west coast this past week with his starring role as Dixon Wilson in the television redux of 90210. In the 2008 version Tristan plays the "Brandon Walsh" role of the family that moves west to begin a new life in the tony Beverly Hills. During my trip out west you couldn't turn around or blow your nose without seeing an advertisement for the new series featuring his boyish grin.

Mr. Wilds first came across my screen as Michael Lee in the Wire. I must admit watching the evolution of Michael the good kid turned killer with a conscience was one of the major reasons why I kept watching the series. I wanted to see if his conscience ever got the better of him... but alas -30- came and with the end of the series with Michael continuing the life of crime.

But now putting a twist in the legendary role it will be interesting to see the evolution of Dixon who by the looks of the 2 hour premiere will be the only black face in Beverly Hills. But I will definitely be paying attention to see...

RFK "in 40 Years..."

East met West

What a relaxing and fun weekend. I have visited LA a few times but this time was cool just to relax and go with the flow with my bestfriend. United first class.... Beverly Wilshire hotel.... and good friends.

We didn't do a lot of touristy things... it actually seemed like a 5 day plug for me to move out west. Now the nightlife could be a lot better... and everything is sooooooooooo spread out, but I actually considered the move for a hot second. But anyway great times...

Anyway East meets West part 2... September 17-21, 2008

Spur of the moment business trip but hey I love the miles.

~

Oh How I love Ms. Pinkett-Smith

I just love how she has progressed from Lena James to Carla Purty slipped back to Woo and now is on top as Miriam Aarons. The Women starring Ms. Pinkett-Smith starts September 12th.

East meets West in 5 Days

I am looking forward to waking up Friday morning and being officially on vacation... granted it is LA and not Provence or Hampshire... but Beverly Hills will accomodate just fine.

Thanks for the emailed and comments left of suggestions of what to hit up... keep them coming.

The Women Behind The Women...

So back in June, I did a post entitled The Women. It was all about one of my favorite old school movies and its upcoming 2008 remake, that has commercials all over the place in anticipation for it hitting theaters this September.

Well I was recently informed about a partnership of Dove and the upcoming film The Women to allow a 16-year-old teen journalist, Cammy, behind-the-scenes during the filming of The Women to learn, first-hand, how Hollywood creates the images we see on screen and about the people involved in making a major motion self-esteem campaign, the Campaign for Real Beauty, which has shown different depictions of beauty in their underwear on tv and billboards across the nation.

Regardless if we are men or women, most of us have been faced with some sort of self esteem issue as we look to what the media and Hollywood depicts as beautiful. Whether it is rock hard abs or a size 4 figure, we have all looked at these depictions and then looked at ourselves and wondered if we measured up.

Well Dove, Cammy and The Women have created a short documentary entitled The Women Behind the Women which shows Cammy's time on the set of the film and her discussions with the stars about what they think real beauty is. At first yes, I thought a little contrive to ask 4 beautiful Hollywood actresses about what real beauty is, of course they are going to give their Ms. America speech about inner beauty. It wasn't until the part where Cammy, asked the question, "If you could go back to when you were 15 and tell yourself something, what would it be?", that it actually hit home for me because I could agree with what each of the 4 actresses had to say.

Seeing that I have seen the original movie at least 25 times and will definitely see this remake the opening weekend, I can relate to the themes behind the movie and I can admire Dove and the film for taking this opportunity to improve the self image and self satisfaction of others. Anyway check out the short documentary and definitely check back after the 12th to see if Jada, Meg, Annette, Debra and Eva live up to the 1939 classic.

It was 8:24pm when I finally made it home Sunday. Exhausted from a day of work and a cookout with my friends, I immediately stripped down and jumped in the shower to wash the day off. When I exited the shower, I grabbed the mail that had been piling up on the kitchen table for a week, grabbed a diet coke... turned on some music and got in the middle of my bed to sort through the junk mail and bills.

'Like a moth to the flame burned by the fire... my love is blind can't you see my desire' I turned to FLJ's picture and mouthed That's the way love goes...

As I went through the mail there was an envelope for FLJ, as I opened it I saw a visitor's guide to LA with a letter stating "I hope this helps you find those off the beaten path activities you wanted to plan."

We were to take this trip together... and now I go alone. By now this awful nightmare of cancer was going to be another hurdle we had finally cleared. He told me two years ago that he couldn't commit until this was a thing of the past... and at times I didn't understand or maybe I didn't want to understand. And then there were times I got impatient with waiting. But by now all of this would be a moot point. One he got the go ahead, the plans were to expand his client base and move to Harlem by the end of the year. I would join him in the Spring. I often sat by the bed joking about how he would find me an Asian woman to carry the 2 kids.

Just made me think... why is it for me at least life never works the way it is planned? I keep telling myself this rollercoaster I have been on the past 3 years is preparing me for something bigger, something better. But what could that be? And when will I get there?

My friend AJ signs all of his emails asking, "If someone prays for patience, do you think God gives them patience? Or does he give them the opportunity to be patient." I wonder...

Flipping Out about Flipping Out

If you have never seen Flipping Out on Bravo you are depriving yourself from an hour of truly hilarious comedy each week.

Flipping Out is a show primarily about Jeff Lewis an obsessive-compulsive house-flipper, master decorator and the personalities or coworkers he works with. His eccentric staff include an Julia Louis-Dreyfus look-a-like assistant who moonlights doing voice over work, a latin housekeeper and two very unique house assistants. When you add to the mix his business partner that is also his former boyfriend, his various therapists and spiritual advisors, it's clear that this intriguing cast of characters are definitely a dysfunctional family that will provide nothing but laughs.

The second season just ended but you can watch the full episodes online at http://www.bravotv.com/. This is by far one of my favorite shows on tv.

No Words

1. Wearing a wifebeater as a mini dress.... No Words..
2. Videotaping his future drag performance... No Words..
3. Testing the water temperature (min 3:11) before turning on the shower... No Words..
4. Another confused child facing gender identity issues... No Words

Go Team USA

In homage to African-Americans Tommie Smith and John Carlos, who proudly gestured skyward during the 1968 Mexico City Olympics, leveling the playing field for civil rights. Smith set a world record by winning the 200-meter race and Carlos placed third. When accepting their awards, they wore symbolic clothing and hoisted black-gloved fists during the playing of “The Star-Spangled Banner.”

What is less known is that silver medalist Peter Norman, a white Australian, donned a badge on his uniform while on the podium in support of their cause. Caught in a whirlwind of public outrage, Smith and Carlos were immediately banished from the U.S. Olympic team, and even received death threats. In July 2008, John Carlos and Tommie Smith accepted the Arthur Ashe Award for Courage for their deeds at the 1968 Olympics at the 2008 ESPY Awards.

Now legendary, this image is a powerful icon of African-American athletes’ struggle for equality.

~

Random Thoughts this Tuesday Afternoon

1. I really need this vacation... lately everything and everyone is annoying me. So I need some time away, to myself doing different things so I can make sure it is everyone else and not me.

2. So as much as I love my company... I am quite concerned about the diversity of it. Several women have broken that glass ceiling and working for an international company we have quite a diverse staff.... however in my department across the company there doesn't seem to be many African-Americans in management roles. I love this company but I do not see myself staying here if making it to a director's level is impossible.

3. I wish there was a way I could vote today and all the ads, polls, and commentary would just go away...

4. In case no one else ever tells you Haagan Dazz Caramel Cone is everything!!

5. I wonder why cars do not come out based on a calendar year... just always seemed odd to me that I may be driving a 2009 in 2008. Or if I bought a 2006 the car was actually made in 2005.

6. My cell phone is dying... and because I was an ass and did a friend a favor by adding him to my account (ill have to blog about this later) I can't get a new phone until hopefully the end of next week. I pray this phone lasts till then. Glad to say bye to the Sprint Treo family after 5 years...

7. Did you see the sad news that Randy Pausch died? Randy became famous after delivering his Last Lecture on Oprah last year and it quickly became a YouTube event. If you haven't seen it it is definitely a tear jerker.

8. Michelle Obama's Ebony cover is EVERYTHING. This woman looks good in anything from GAP to designer, I see a fashion icon in the making...

9. Are you watching I Wanna Work for Diddy?? I just love how this man keeps himself relevant.

10. Damn I'm sleepy....

On Another Tangent: People with No Cooth

Now I enjoy a party like the next person...

And I am not one to hold grudges, I do not harbor hard feelings I just choose not to deal with some people anymore but I am always cordial and keep it moving...

But how the hell do you send me an evite to your graduation party and you haven't spoken to me in 5 years for some nonsense spat you had with my bestfriend that didn't even involve me.

And then have gift suggestions...

Congratulations on your achievement, hope it takes you to the next level... but I must decline this invitation.

Back in the day yes I hit every party invite that hit my inbox and some that didn't. But with age comes wisdom and the knowledge that being selective in who you associate with pays off.

And how do you send out an invitation to people and make suggestions of where to buy a gift like this is some housewarming, baby shower, or wedding party... I swear I am going to start a school of etiquette.

In One Month.... East meets West

So today marks one month till East Coast meets West Coast. The last time I was in LA, while the company was cool, my stay was just blah. But I am hoping this trip out will show me another side of LA and seeing that my bestfriend is moving there to finish his PhD... I may need to start liking it at least for awhile. So.....

While I know there are a lot of people East of the Mississippi that read the blog... I need my Californians to hit me up and give me some ideas of what to do while out in LA. What parties/clubs should I visit? Any shopping secret places I need to know about?

So far on the list is...

1. Breakfast at The Blvd

2. Dinner at Wolfgang's Cut

3. Lunch at the Ivy

But I need more suggestions, I would really like to leave LA with more pleasant thoughts than what I think of it now....

On Another Tangent: Scooters

ok so I was watching NBC4 this evening and a they did a news story about the rapid rise of scooters being stolen in the District and the rapid rise of sales of these scooters.

I often joked when watching TV and seeing developing countries and the amount of people who would ride scooters there that one day I am going to get one to save on some gas. And now that gas prices are $4.19 a gallon, it may be that time. So while watching the story I jumped online to see how much these things go for. The prices range from about $1800 to $5200 for the Vespa below. So the guy on the news said the scooters get about 45 - 50 mpg. So of course my mind went into overdrive trying to compute what that would mean to me.... the 1.5 gallon tank would mean 75 miles I could drive. 75 miles is about 9 days of driving the 3.7 miles it takes me to get to work. So for about $6 I could get to work for 2 weeks... damn that is cheaper than Metro.

So what do you think? Anybody out there want to contribute to the Scooter Fund???

Young and Gay or Young and Feminine?

So a week ago Monday, Washington Post staff writer Theresa Vargas wrote a very interesting article entitled, Owning His Gay Identity -- at 15 years old. The article covers several stories of kids coming out in middle and high school but particular focuses on a local boy Saro Harvey and his struggles of being openly gay in high school. The article does a good job showing the discrimination and bullying the young man goes through however for me the underlying issue in the article and in life is not Saro being gay, but the prevalence for young homosexuals (or confused kids) thinking being gay is carrying a purse, talking with a lisp, or any other feminine characteristics.

While I usually read the Post everyday, I somehow missed this article and it wasn't brought to my attention until I was reading Rod 2.0 and was surprised when reading the comment section and how everyone was so proud of how courageous this young man was. Which you will get no argument from me. But the piece goes into how Saro's family is concerned that his self expression and choice of wearing girl's clothes may make him a target for violence.

While we are focusing on tolerance for others we should also focus on giving young homosexual men positive depictions of masculine gay men. There are very few on TV and in movies (sorry I don't quite think Omar from the Wire would classify as positive) and in the media in general. While there are several in the community, it is unfortunate that these are the daily images they see or strive to be like.

I think Vargas did a good job on the article but it pains me that I walk away from it upset about what young homosexuals think being gay really is.

There Are Still Good People Out There...

Today started off as downward spiraling day... I mean at 8:45am I was already contemplating going back home and getting back in the bed.

So me and my friend TJ attempted to see the 10pm showing of The Dark Night last night thinking ok Monday night everyone should have seen it by now no need to by advance tickets... wrong. The next showing wasn't until 11something and since I had driven way out to Maryland, I refused to go home without seeing the movie. Needless to say at 2am as I was driving back to the District... I was kicking myself at the thought of my 8am appointment.

When the alarm went off at 7am, I thought I had to be dreaming but a simple roll over to view my alarm clock proved otherwise. So I jumped out of bed thinking of the long day I had ahead (commitments till 10pm tonight) and thought oh well when I get home tonight I will sleep like a baby.

As I was walking to my 8am appointment I reached in my bag to get the directions. When I got to my appointment I saw that my US Passport had fallen out of my bag. As I rushed through the appointment I could only think retrace your steps then stop by the Passport office 2 blocks away to see if some good Samaritan turned it in. Retracing my steps was fruitless, and the rude and unhelpful rentacop security guards at the Passport office were of course not helpful and the worst unknowledgeable.

I got back to my truck to notice a wonderful $25 ticket on my window because apparently the meter maid was at my truck as soon as 9am hit to give me that ticket... I should have just skipped the Passport Office and I would have had at least $25 to put towards the replacement.

As I finally strolled into my office my coworker points out... "Did you know you shirt is ripped?" Yes my one and only Thomas Pink shirt ruined.

As I told her the story of my wonderful morning I logged onto my gmail account to notice an email titled "Your Passport". Some wonderful woman found my passport on the street, googled me and found my blog and other information about me on the net (I realllllly need to google myself)... my faith has been restored and there are still some good people out there.

East meets West

I have never been a huge fan of Los Angeles. Last time I was there, I stayed for five days and saw the Hollywood sign only once due to the smog. The smog also had me washing my face several times a day. After sitting in traffic at 8pm at night the first two days, I wondered why the hell these people weren't at home yet. After visiting Zuma beach and telling my friend there was no way he was getting me in that brown water... I wondered why the hell people lived there.
As if earthquakes, forrest fires, and mud slides weren't enough signs from God.

Well 3 years later I am making my return to LA. With everything going on on the Right coast (hey I didn't make it right just look at a map), I need a vacation and why not spend it with my bestfriend who is relocating to LA to finish his PhD. Sooooo instead of punking out in ATL this Labor Day I will be in the land of stars.

• Nonstop flight from Washington to LA .... check


• Luxury accomodations at the Five Star, Five Diamond Beverly Wilshire Hotel, A Four Seasons property... check


• One best friend to kick it with all weekend... check


• Need for a getaway... double and triple check

August 29-Sept 3 East meets West

~

Back to Normal???

I keep wondering when life will get back to normal... but then I ask what is normal? There will be no more trips to the hospital to sit with FLJ or to bring him clean undergarments or specially requested food since he despised the hospital food.

But that wasn't life as normal... we often sat around and just talked about how things are going to get better and back to normal.

I open the fridge and see some damn soy burgers... a lot of eating habits I agreed to change with him but I gotta have my meat when I want meat. So cleaning out my fridge was part of me trying to get back to some normalcy.

My ace and former roommate in college is in town for the next couple days for the AKA Convention celebrating their 100 years. In an effort to get me out of the house and active this weekend, she dragged me around to Howard, a party or 2, the Kappa Kookout, and to Georgetown to do some shopping. It has been great having her in town.... definitely brings back some old memories.

Even work isn't normal... last week being my first week back began an hectic week of the implementation of a new sales database system which has had more flaws and glitches than I can count... and less answers than questions.

So I think it may take a little more time to get back to normal...

Two weeks ago my consort, my confidant, my advisor, but most of all my friend lost his battle with cancer. The past two weeks I have been in a quiet space trying to understand God's plan and trying to figure out how does life adjust now.



Because of that I haven't had much to write here but of course my girl Jill Scott captured what I am thinking right this moment in her book The Moments, the Minuntes, the Hours, The Poetry of Jill Scott, so I decided to share:

Selfish

give me a minute to love you
an hour to stare in your face
a moment to praise your nose
your hands, your lips, your eyes
don't say later
don't say tomorrow
because the day's too busy
because the day's too hurried
too demanding

give me a week to hold you
a second to play in your lashes
a night to kiss your forehead
Your back, your feet, your fingers
Don't say you're tired
Don't say you're anxious
because the world is calling
because the world is heavy
Ever present

just let me soothe you
let me put you in my mouth and hum sweet tunes
let me calm that ocean

give me a day
give me four and more
to ease and please you
let me take that chip from your shoulder
place it on the nightstand for a while
because you're lonely
and
I am too

- Jill Scott