Lessons Learned in 2006

“If we had no winter, the spring would not be so pleasant; if we did not sometimes taste of adversity, prosperity would not be so welcome. “ – Anne Bradstreet

“Character cannot be developed in ease and quiet. Only through experience of trial and suffering can the soul be strengthened, ambition inspired, and success achieved.” – Helen Keller

“The highest reward for a man’s toil is not what he gets for it, but what he becomes by it.” – John Ruskin

These daily affirmations and prayer have been the only things getting me through 2006. I came into 2006 on quite a high. A good job that afforded me national travel; other than my car note and student loans relatively no debt; good friends to enjoy travel, shopping trips, and just hanging out with; and the possibility of a romance that seemed to be on the right track.

Life is nothing but a string of decisions. Some decisions can make it better, some can keep it from growing, and others can change things for the worse. I made one decision in 2006 that seemed to take what was to be such a great year, to being the absolute worse of my adult life. However as I try to take something positive from this disastrous year, I have learned so much about myself and people around me. And these are my lessons from 2006:

The grass in Atlanta is no greener than the grass in DC. My job in DC was going just fine, but I saw an opportunity to work for the number 3 (if that) association management firm in Atlanta and jumped on it. After working for the firm less than two weeks, I was fired for what they said “wasn’t a good fit”. And that was the only explanation they gave and even had to give under the “work at will” law. So after leaving a job I was comfortable with in DC and relocating to what I thought was going to be a better life in Atlanta… left me unemployed for three months and once again back in debt. My lesson learned: Still trying to figure this one out!!

Friends come into your life for a reason, a season, and rarely a lifetime. Me and Harold had been friends for almost ten years, but me moving to Atlanta would be the first time we actually lived in the same city. He introduced me to his friends and I attempted to make my own. My first three months in Atlanta were quite difficult and depressing, and when I landed my current job it seemed as if there was finally a ray of hope. I called him to tell him things were finally turning around… to get a mild response. The weeks that followed had me feeling left out and alone. Only to get an email on his birthday saying that he can’t sustain this friendship any longer, with out any explanation. My lesson learned: The only thing in life you can count on is taxes and death. Nothing in life is forever… and don’t expect an explanation on why.

Dating is difficult and Relationships aren’t easy. One of the first people I befriended after moving to Atlanta was Kool. Kool brought two other people into my life one was Dominican and the Bee (more on him later). I actually met Scorpio before moving to Atlanta and what started off as a friendship led to dating and then… well nothing back to an awkward friendship. Dating Dominican and Scorpio was an interesting experience, of which prompted a few blog entries this year but most notably Must I Date Your Friend Too . My lesson learned: Dating is a process of weeding through people to find the right one to develop a relationship with. Patience for that right one is a virtue that I must work on.

If you are driving an X5 with no job… you are a crafty faggot. Like I mentioned above Kool brought two people into my life… the other was Bee. After numerous weeks and months of hanging out, hanging out every weekend kind of took a back seat to dates, kids, and jobs. And then my house got broken into and weeks later Kool’s house got broken into again. Long story short… the short bastard standing between us took advantage of two genuine friendships invaded our homes stole material things and left his dignity. I was always raised to do whatever you can to help friends out and if Bee ever needed anything, all he had to do was ask but instead he decided to play spades at my table, eat food I prepared, watch movies on my TV… all the while eyeing what he would be stealing later. My lesson learned: You never truly know who a person is, but always trust your gut feeling.

Lack of communication will be the death of any friendship. He is attractive, intelligent, and funny. And he was to be mine. Because of all the stress I was going through when I first moved to Atlanta… I pushed him to the side and got sidetracked. I looked for things to justify what I did but I was wrong. I fucked up something that could have been great. Looking back on it now, I don’t think either of us really worked that hard on making it the way it should have been. But I am a man and I admit my mistakes and wrongdoings. And today I sincerely apologize for my fault in this all and hope we can work on the friendship. My lesson learned: Just like a plant, friendships need nurturing as well.

2006 was one hell of a year… and I am claiming that 2007 as my rebuilding year. By the end of 2007 I want to be where I was before moving to Atlanta and back on the path to making my 10 year plan a reality. So I am leaving all of this strife, bad memories, and experiences of 2006 right here… because tomorrow as I embark on a new year and a new start.

I am hoping that each of you make your 2007 better than your 2006.

“If there is no struggle, there is no progess.” – Frederick Douglas

Dreamgirls... my take

Many bloggers have already or will be posting many reviews of the Dreamgirls movie and most of them will focus on the great performances of Jennifer Hudson, Jamie Fox and Beyonce. However after finally seeing the movie for myself after months and months of hype this post gives much do praise to Eddie Murphey and Anika Noni Rose.

Murphey as James "Thunder" Early is electrifying in his portrayl of a star's rise and fall from the top. This comedic side of him probably hasn't been this sharp since his many years on SNL. And his singing makes me wonder if his late 80s albums were all that bad. But it's the fear eating at Jimmy that brings out the best in Murphy. Jimmy is a star who has abused too many drugs and used too many women from his wife who Dawn Lewis effectively played sans any lines and Lorrell, his current mistress played by Anika. However Murphy effectively illuminates these character flaws without dimming the wicked charm. I dont think Murphey has ever reached this far emotionally or dug this deep to bring a character so real.

In 2004, Anika Noni Rose was awarded the Theatre World Award, Lucille Lortel Award for Outstanding Featured Actress and the Tony Ward for Best Featured Actress in a Musical, for Caroline, or Change. In 2006, she brought this award winning talent to big screen as she effectively portrays Lorrell Robinson's growth from a giggly naive girl to a grown woman. My favorite scene is when she has finally had enough of Jimmy Early and pulls the strength and courage to walk away from the man that made her a woman. While the character Lorrell, is relegated mostly to the background in most of the film, her few moments to shine display a young performer whose power is far beyond her years. Anika Noni Rose more than holds her own vocally and in acting as the third Dreamgirl.

On the others... For me Jennifer Hudson didn't steal the show at all. I expected her to deliver a flawless performance and she did. I am quite thankful however that Beyonce actually stepped up her usual lack of acting talent and gave a pretty decent performance herself. She amazingly and effectively channels the diva herself, Diana Ross throughout the movie. She pulls this off through several dazzling fashion ensembles and the photo shoot scene. However I don't think her performance should have been compared to that of Meryl Streep and Annette Benning this past year with a Golden Globe nomination. However I will say the scene of her getting photographed, as Ross did, in an infinite number of extravagant costumes and hairdos was utterly beautiful.

Often when Broadway goes Hollywood, the director and screenplay writer try to do too much and it often comes off seeming more patchwork than a constant flow... and Dreamgirls can seem quite patchy at times. And umm what happened to the Jamie Foxx/Jennifer Hudson sex scene???

Oh yeah... Congrats to Jaleel "Urkel" White and Dawn "Different World" Lewis for scoring cameos... I guess their careers aren't totally dead yet.

My Secret is Out...

Yep it is true… for a long time I kept this a secret but like most secrets it has seeped out. I say this with much trepidation…

“Hi I am C. and I have an underwear fetish.”

Men's underwear has come out of the closet and into the public eye and it's about time. The variety of styles you can get now is unlimited, from the god-awful white briefs to the even worse loose boxers. From sexy mesh underwear to “you got one thing on your mind” jock straps. You can now even get skimpy g-strings at your local Bloomingdale”s or Macy’s department stores. Oh and let us not get on those Calvin Klein micro fiber boy shorts. Erotic thongs, athletic one-piece suits and styles that I can’t even give a name to are all over Undergear and the many underwear sites now dedicated to men.

Now let me clarify when I say I have this fetish I am not by any means talking about any type of underwear that looks like it might hurt the person wearing it. And I am by no means talking about men in panties… because you know that is just gross. And I am definitely not talking about stealing underwear… which in the UK can now land you on their Sex Offender List.

I am talking about enjoying the site of a man or woman in a nice pair of undergarments that accentuate their best ASSets. (Tighty Whiteys are an instant invitation out the door.)

The basic idea of sexual fetishism is sexual arousal and satisfaction through an inanimate object. Everyone has a fetish. In some cases, "fetish” has been used to name aspects of a nation's predominant ideal of beauty, e. g. the preference for small feet in old China or the modern western preference for big breasts. More recently it is used to name any sexual preference which is perceived as unusual: overweight, race, body parts and hair color are examples for physical features that popularly are considered fetishes. But for me it is underwear… appealing underwear.

So I am curious what is your fetish??

Stomp The Yard trailer

Let's see Columbus Short, Laz Alonzo, Brian White and a familiar story line... we know where I will be January 12th.

Weekend Wrapup

What an interesting weekend... First let me start off by saying, I think we work too much. There should be a 4 day work weeks with 3 day weekends. If anyone is hiring on that schedule let me know and I will forward the resume over ASAP!!

There were a number of friends, acquaintances, and even a quasi boyfriend in town. So since my bestfriend, Rey, from DC was in town and hadn't partied much with the kids in Atlanta, we planned to hit up a couple parties and clubs.

Friday was real chill for the most. After lounging all day, Rey and me went over to Neimans, when Chopsticks (me and my roommate call him that because at the gym he wears these lil shorts showing off his very petite legs as he always works on his upper body... too funny) appears out of nowhere... repeating his email address to someone on the phone over and over loud enough for all of us to hear. So of course my bestfriend being the fool that he is... was like now I am gonna stalk your email. To which Chopsticks replies at least I will know who it is. (Insert vomitting noise and eye rolls here).

So then me, Rey, my roommate and his house guest hit the gym. After a good "club" workout we all went home to eat and drink before hitting the club. I must say the club was quite festive and the mix of cuties and the uncutes was just right. Having a friend working the bar is always helpful in making the nights turn into an alcoholic bliss.

Now Saturday is where the weekend turned interesting... so we spent most of the day lounging and all on our own schedules till the evening when it was time to go to the first house party. My roommate had 2 more friends come in town so as we waited on them to arrive Rey decides he wants to go visit one of his military friends. So I am already ready to go but waiting patiently (patience is not a virtue I have) so when we are finally ready to go of course Rey is not where he needs to be which sets off an hour long argument and me deciding that I wasn't going anywhere and to hell with the whole evening (yeah I am spoiled so what). After changing my mind once again and getting directions from my now long gone roommate, I venture out to a part of SW Atlanta that was so far that I could have sworn I was half way to Alabama. (I don't understand why people have the desire to live so far from civilization in houses that aren't even all that big) The party was so packed that if you wanted to move around the house there was one circular path going in one direction. The organizers of the party asked that you bring one can good or a donation and by the time we arrived there was a huge tub filled with food outside... (don't you love partying with a purpose) After being there about an hour and meeting one boy... the police came and shut it down and it was off to the Atlanta Live.

Now I can't stand Atlanta Live but we had planned to meet another friend, Bell, there and all party together. (a little background... I met Bell back in early October , after weeks of hanging out we decided not to date and just be friends because we weren't on the same page.... Bell and my friend Mo were also cool and according to Mo they were "just friends" but more on that later). So once getting there me and my bestfriend, Rey, run into Bell, so we just stood around and talked and drank until the others arrived from the party. As soon as Mo and the rest of the crew arrive and get drinks... Mo pulls Bell away and they all head to the dance floor leaving me and Rey just standing there. So after we get round 2 we move to the dance floor where they are. So we are all back together dancing and acting fool but everytime I talk to Bell.. Mo is right there and quickly pulls him to the side. I thought I was the only one noticing this until my bestfriend gives me the eye of what is that about and starts laughing... once again they eventually leave us once again. So me and Rey go off on our own and start dancing and partying with 2 cute Jamaican lesbos and talking to other folks we knew. Then I get a text from Bell asking me where we were. Once we all met up again he asked what is going on I thought we were all supposed to be hanging out... I simply told him that it was apparent Mo didn't want us hanging together so I will let yall be so everyone can have a drama free good time. (a little more background... Bell told me that he has told Mo a number of times that they can just be friends because they sexually incompatible and too fem. But since Mo kept telling me that they were just friends and no more I never put much value in this. but I guess the truth came out that night) Me and my bestfriend called it a night not long after that seeing that the club was too young and too ghetto and full of uncuteness. It is sad the best looking person that was there was an old date...

Sunday was really chill, I hung out with my bestfriend and quasi boyfriend most of the day and got to go to bed relatively early, only to be back at work today......

T-Shirt Couture

When I first heard of this... I was like what the hell?? Is this another attempt to sell those $65 designer t-shirts, so the late kids can claim they are wearing a label. But after touring To A T: T-Shirt Culture... Cute or Couture, I got it.

Like a good pair of jeans or the little black dress... T-Shirts are a staple in fashion. The popularity of the t-shirt is a direct result of its ease of accessibility and for the endless outlet of individualism it allows. Over the years t-shirts have evolved. The t-shirt has been transformed from ordinary underwear worn by James Dean to today’s form of self-expression worn under blazers by some and with a pair of flip-flops by others. Now there are more different styles of t-shirts than ever before, often influenced by the many different elements of today's culture. Whether it is the tattoo inspired Ed Hardy Ts.. or the retro sexually implied slogan Ts.. or the Inspi(red) shirts on sale at GAP.... there is a style of tshirt for pretty much everyone. When it comes to style of t-shirts or even fashion in general it is a combination of many elements of culture such as musical taste, speech or other entertainment influences.

Museum of Design Atlanta’s new exhibit puts t-shirts from well established fashion icons like Christian Dior, Marc Jacobs, and Dolce & Gabbana side-by side with up and coming local Atlanta designers including Project Runway favorite, Michael Knight and Clint Zeagler of Pecan Pie Couture. The exhibit explores this trend displaying t-shirts accented with rhinestones, beading, embroidery, cutting and sewing, and silk screen prints. If you are in the ATL, you should definitely come downtown and take a look at the free exhibit before it goes on tour.

And if you haven’t seen Michael Knight’s website do check it out http://www.mychaelknight.com/ .

Random Newstories...

Just some random new stories that have caught my eye. What do you think?

Wednesday, December 6 via AOL.com

An American Airlines flight was forced to make an emergency landing Monday morning after a passenger lit a match to disguise the scent of flatulence, authorities said. Nasty bastard!!

“Virgos have the most accidents. What’s your road sign?” From there, the ad lists the “Official Rankings” of the best drivers by sign. Aries, Cancer, and Taurus are the top three, with Aquarius, Leo, and Virgo at the bottom of the list. Not that I needed Allstate to tell me I was a good driver... I just needed them to confirm that for you.

Wednesday, December 6 via Washingtonpost.com

"Keeping us up here eats away at families," said Rep. Jack Kingston (R-Ga.), who typically flies home on Thursdays and returns to Washington on Tuesdays. "Marriages suffer. The Democrats could care less about families -- that's what this says." Kingston says in response to the new Democratic leadership inacting a work week that starts at 6:30 p.m. Monday and will end their business about 2 p.m on Friday. But my question is weren't these politicians elected to WORK!! If I have to work a 9 to 5... why shouldn't they.

Wednesday, December 6 via AJC.com

Federal immigration agents arrested six illegal immigrants Wednesday who had security badges that gave them access to restricted areas of Hartsfield-Jackson International Airport, including the tarmac. Have you not seen the security lines at Atlanta's airport... and these damn illegals get all access badges... ain't that about a b!%$h !!

Cherokee County (GA) commissioners Tuesday night approved ordinances declaring English the county's official language, and going after landlords who rent to illegal immigrants. Cherokee commissioners have maintained that illegal immigrants drain local resources. And because the federal government hasn't tackled the issue, commissioners said it was up to them to send a message to those living in the county illegally. I am all for anyone coming to America... just come legally and learn the language.

Wednesday, November 29 via CNN.com

"We have reason to believe, and we have some forensic evidence that is consistent with our belief, that a microwave oven was used in this death," said Ken Betz, director of the Montgomery County coroner's office.... If China Arnold microwaved her baby... they should boil her ass in alcohol.... of course IF she did it.

Robin, John, and him....

Last night Robin Thicke and John Legend put on a show... and a damn good one at that. The Tabernacle was packed to the rafters and hot as a 5 fat girls in a Ford Focus in Arizona. Even Usher came out to take in the show.

Robin Thicke opened the show 30 minutes late giving an energetic performance, with relatively strong vocals on R&B--tinged pop tunes from his album The Evolution of Robin Thicke and his first album that I can't recall the name of. But after his strong performance I will be picking them both up.

In true diva like fashion.... what had to be at the very least an hour after Robin left the stage, Legend's band and backup singers took the stage. To think just two years ago a then-unknown John Legend was setting up a keyboard on the sidewalk outside of Philips Arena 2 blocks away, ready to croon "Ordinary People" for pretty much anyone that asked.

So when the now three-time Grammy winner finally took stage backed by a band that included three flawless backup singers, two keyboardists, a guitarist and a drummer, Legend slid behind his own baby grand piano and banged out hits from both albums including my favorites Heaven, PDA, and Stereo. Just like the album, he alternates between '60s-era Motown soul and lounge music throughout the concert. I think every single is so retro that even my mother would enjoy nearly every track.

Attending the concert with not only a fan of Legend... but a fan of music made the night even better. The surprising highlight of the evening was while John was singing P.D.A., him was staring at me singing along and leaned over to kiss me. At first I was shocked... like did this dude just kiss me in the middle of this concert. And then the row of ladies behind us hit me with an, 'awww i wish i had a date to kiss me too', which led to my embarrassment. But I must say it felt good.

A late night dinner with great conversation just topped off a memorable evening.

An Evening with John Legend and Robin Thicke

This Thursday evening I will have the opportunity to finally hear and see John Legend perform live. The Once Again Tour sponsored by Bailey's is coming to the Tabernacle here in Atlanta and of course I scooped up a couple tickets as soon as I heard the tour was coming to town.

John Legend's brand of sexy, sophisticated music was a needed surprise that seem to come out of nowhere in 2005. His style of music is so different and so fresh from most of what's out in contemporary R&B right now, it remained to be seen if he could duplicate the success of his Get Lifted album. And unlike some new artist, who come out with a second album and try and flip the script... John gave us a new album that was even more sophisticated, more grown and even more sexy. Now I am by no means saying this new album is just a duplication of his last. This album has no guest appearances and is more ballad driven than the first.

I am so looking forward to hearing the mix of soul, blues, and gospel influences that have shaped Once Again into yet another masterpiece.


As an added bonus Robin Thicke is opening for John. While I have only heard a couple tracks of his Evolution of Robin Thicke... the ones I have heard like Can U Believe and Wanna Love You Girl, I know the boy can sing. So I will definitely be looking forward to his set as well.

It should definitely be a memorable evening.

Will Michael Richards wake up Black America?

It's been a couple of weeks since Michael Richards went crazy at the Laugh Factory and revived his stale career, albeit this time he will have 15 minutes of infamy, and not much else has occurred. He has apologized on Letterman and the Jesse Jackson show and reiterated time and time again… that he may think of black people as niggers but he isn’t racists. The guys Richards belittled in the club have come forward, demanding an apology and in true American fashion, money as well. Can someone tell me how do you monetize racial epithets anyway?

Since that time everyone from Jerry Seinfeld to my coworker has chastised Richard’s behavior but I want to know when will we, as Black America, also wake up and realize the damage this word is doing to us. For years I have always said I could careless about the use of the word be any racial group. I always believed I didn’t use the word and black person using it as a term of endearment is about as bad as a white person using in it in disdain.

In the United States, the word was commonly used by some whites and blacks, until the Civil Rights Era of the 1960s when the word acquired a pejorative connotation. Today, the implied racism of the term is so strong that the use of nigger in most situations is a social taboo. Even the media here in America will not even print the word in full, instead using n*gg*r, n**ger, n——, or simply "the N-word." But for some odd reason our hip hop generation has adopted this word, changed the spelling and use it as a self-deprecating term that is suggestive of familiarity and endearment. I have heard people explain it as turning a negative into a positive. But when mainstream America sees us using this word… what do you really think they see?

What makes this even sadder is this ridiculous assertion being spouted by some brothers who will point out that there's a big difference between the word 'Nigger' and 'Nigga'. It baffles me to think you have some people who take this word and flip it so that it empowers them, or at least so they think. So that now nigga is a good thing... However when some white or Asian kid comes rolling up to me talking about 'What's up my Nigga'?, should I embrace him because this kid is down with hip hop culture or kick his ass because he has disrespected me?

We as Black people must understand that when the word nigga is used in public or in lyrics, other ethnic groups also hear them. And yes, these other ethnic groups may understand in which context blacks mean and use the word nigga and may recognize this as a term of affection and friendship. But at the same time it still reminds people of the word nigger. The two words nigga and nigger will never ever be separated. If blacks use the word nigga as a greeting, then certain people from other ethnic groups will want to use the word in the same light. And why does skin color have to depict the true intentions of the use of the word?

Shouldn’t we follow the lead of other ethnic groups who vehemently step to folks who use such hateful epithets? For example, the Jewish community or even the gay and lesbian community. There's an old saying that goes 'What you say or allow to be said about you is what you will become'.

Surviving Black Friday

Over the years I have been to quite a few Black Friday sales... but this year was a totally new experience. Since my Dell Inspiron died earlier this year, I have been anticipating the notorious sales of this day to replace it. Well it didn't quite die, just the screen went out and I have had it looked at twice and each time I was told it would cost approximately $400 to repair. Of course this manufacturer defect didn't happen till after my warranty was over (BE VERY CAREFUL WHEN BUYING DELLS... I know of 3 other screens that went out). So after researching the Black Friday sales courtesy of the number of websites dedicated to posting all the ads before they are released, I decided that Best Buy would be the start of my Friday morning.

Best Buy had advertised an HP for $374 and a Sony for $599. And it was my goal to secure one of those laptops. The Best Buy ad also stated that the doors would open at 5am however they would start passing out tickets for the advertised specials at 4am. So I was thinking ok getting there around 2.. 230am would be fine. Well of course I was wrong. I arrived at Best Buy in Hoover, AL (I was in Birmingham with my mom for the holiday) at 230am only to see the line stretch past 3 additional stores. After debating whether to go home or stay for about 5 minutes and seeing the line still growing I decided to stay. Who would have ever thought so many people in Alabama would be going after these damn laptops.

I will say that the Best Buy handled the sale very well. Only letting in the first 100 people, then 10 people at a time till they reached their 375 capacity limit diffused the trampling often seen on the local news. Another line to get into the computer section prevented the workers from being overwhelmed while at the same time giving every customer personal attention.

Needless to say I didn't get either of the advertised laptops. While in the checkout line I had the opportunity to talk to #4 and #5 of the original line who told me they had been outside since 1pm Thanksgiving afternoon. (not that serious for me). However they scored 6 laptops between them.

After checking out I went buy Circuit City which was a mad house and I quickly retreated back to my truck and hit it to WalMart to score a TV for my mother. I was quite surprised at how empty WalMart was. I have heard the stories but I think since WalMart decided to only advertise online this year it really hurt their usual crowds. I talked to 4 other friends that all hit Best Buy early in the morning... only one got the advertised $599 Sony laptop but my purchase was a better computer for a $100 more.

All said I was back home and back in bed around 830am. With my $5.99 Janet CD, my $699 Laptop and a new tv for moms. Would I do the early morning again.... na not worth it.

Growing up in Relationships

I truly believe my upbringing has not only shaped and formed the person I am today but also the type of people I choose to date. My maternal and paternal families couldn’t be more different. My mother’s family were working class, devout Christians, that seemed to never judge people by their material possessions but more so by their merit and actions. They were truly down home, good people that would give their last for someone in need. Now my father’s family at first glance could be polar opposites. They were Caribbean immigrants that epitomized the E. Franklin Frazier’s Black Bourgeoisie. If you brought a date to a family function, you could rest assure their pedigree, career/school, and complexion would be under scrutiny. It wasn’t until I was in the 5th grade after spending time with them in New Orleans did I realize that my skin was much fairer than my other cousins and mother. I often overheard ‘Thank God he was blessed with the good genes... instead of them others.’ But back to my point I definitely think that this has shaped who I have chosen to date.

So back in September, I met a guy from Texas out and about here in Atlanta. So on the basis of a Texan bond and the need for people to hang out with here we formed a friendship. It didn't take long to realize being from Texas was one of the very few things we had in common… but I guess what they say opposites attract. His hood and quick to fight temper is quite hilarious and disturbing at the same time. I always have to ask him… what does that solve? The stories and experiences of his childhood often baffle me. So over the past 2 months our friendship has been just that friendship… until this weekend when he asked me if I would ever date someone like him.

We always make those broad, generic statements…of who we would and wouldn’t date. And while I slipped up once or twice in the past, I quickly got rid of those mistakes (yes they were mistakes but thank God for the life lessons). For some reason I have always been attracted to tall, light, educated, with careers and goals. Retail workers (unless you were store manager or higher), strippers, ghetto, porn stars, uneducated, and the have-nots (A couple of those would apply to my new friend)… would have never stood a chance at a long term commitment.

So how did I answer that question… I simply said I am not sure but I wouldn’t rule it out. Who knows maybe I am maturing and recognizing the faults from my classism, bourgeoisie upbring? But for now the friendship is working so I think I will leave it at that for awhile.

My Favorite Things... again

Well Oprah took the high road this year and probably had the most noble of all of her Favorite Thing Giveaways.

Over the years, Oprah has given away cars, homes and much more, but nothing compares to today's giveaway! "I can honestly say that every gift I've ever given has brought at least as much happiness to me as it has to the person I've given it to," Oprah says. "That's the feeling I want to pass on to you." Every member of Oprah's audience is going home with $1,000 and a Sony DVD Handycam…but there's a catch.

Oprah is challenging more than 300 audience members to donate their money to a charitable cause."You're going to open your hearts, you're going to be really creative, and you're going to spend it all at once on one stranger or spend a dollar on every person," she says. "Imagine the
love and kindness you can spread with $1,000." --- taken from Oprah.com

After working in the nonprofit world for over 6 years and I must say that my prayers to God often include the wish to be in the financial position to help others. I, like Oprah, believe that feeling of happiness is unmatched. However at this point and time I am in no way in that position right now. I will say it was hard to top most of the 14 items that made my list in 2005, so just consider this year's list a continuation with just a few changes:

1. The inconsistency of the iTrip made me seek out another saviour from radio... luckily the helpful and quite attractive salesgirl at the Dunwoody BestBuy helped me find the Belkin TuneFM for Ipod<>A>.

2. My new favorite cologne came from my best friend and when I tell you it not only smells great but it makes you feel good too... Bond No. 9 The Hamptons. After taking the last little corner he had left in his... I quickly made my way to Saks for my own.

3. We already know that I am not big on Christmas gifts, but on the rare occassion that I do give gifts I usually give something that could be considered a new family tradition started by my Grandmother when I was quite young. The Neiman Marcus Holiday Cakes, specifically the Liqueur Cakes. Now you can buy a single cake or what I tend to give the mini cake sampler of six individually-wrapped cakes which include Irish whiskey, apple pecan bourbon, chocolate champagne, lemon with vodka, vanilla rum, and amaretto cakes.

4. The JOQ Men's Spa in Midtown Atlanta. Early this summer I treated myself to the JOQ Bronze Spa Package that included a 50 minute massage, a facial and a manicure and pedicure. They successfully pull of a relaxing day spa for men without the 'girly' affects.

5. Grey's Anatomy is one of, if not the one, favorite show I must catch every week. It is great to see a show written and created by a black woman, with 4 main minority characters that isn't a bunch of joking and jiving or set in a ghetto with Shaniqua and her 4 kids.

6. After having a hamburger from 5 Guys... McDonalds and Burger King begins to taste like welfare food. They have the absolute best burgers I have had in quite some time. Currently only on the east coast (like most of the good stuff)... they definitely make my favorites list this year.

7. One of my favorite stores has finally made it to DC... Barney's Coop. Whenever I need a 'fit' for a function that is the place to go, without worrying about half the party having on the same shit.

8. Yellowman is definitely making some hot shirts that go perfect with jeans. They are called tattoo shirts because they basically look like very intricate tattoo designs.

9. Thanksgiving Day... by far my favorite holiday. Great food, family... and a day set aside to just to say thanks.

Random Thoughts about the BET Hip Hop Awards

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So happy BET Hip Hop Awards weekend went off without one shooting, stabbing, or good ole fashioned pimp slapping. Atlanta Police spokesman James Polite said there have been no reports of crime or violence associated with the BET event.

I guess everyone gave their stylist the night off because almost everyone looked a hot mess. I mean what was Monica thinking… liker her album, she looked a hot shitty mess.

I have no clue to why Flava Flave and Deelishous (or however he ebonically spelt her name) are news and even better yet why people are so fascinated with that train wreck of a show.

Why are all the local radio shows reporting that there was hardly any applause during the entire show??? Was it that bad.

I wonder are people dreading that MARTA ever brought “that crowd” to the Buckhead area after it taking an hour to get to the too crowded Lenox Mall parking lot turned car show.

Why did this young fag (sorry but that is the only word that can accurately describe him) tell me he had ordered some new Gucci outfit and him and his friends were renting a Phantom… as he sleeps on his friends couch in a low budget apartment building and sits in the balcony at the awards.

Why did the news show the sole protestor of the award show holding a sign telling video vixens to put on some clothes… as she stood there in a midriff in the middle of a cold November evening.

Why must our community always have alcohol sponsors events. (i.e. Courvoisier Presents The Official 2006 BET Hip-Hop Awards After Party.)

FINAL WORD: I didn't invite the awards show here, but I should have," said Atlanta Mayor Shirley Franklin. "It just makes sense with our music industry that they be here, and I hope they return."

Courteous or Controlling??

So this weekend started off pretty decent. Dinner date with Mr. SprintPCS (that makes 2)... and Saturday I spent the day with Mr. Iraq (more to come on him later). After a long day of rollercoasters and long lines at Six Flags we chilled at his house watching tv and just talking.

In the midst of our conversation, he mentioned that he was going to cook dinner on Sunday and invited me to come over to eat. Me not ever passing up a free meal, especially home cooked, agreed.

Fast forward to Sunday around 12noon I sent him a text confirming dinner and to see what time... no response.

At 3pm, while out with another friend, I still hadn't heard back from him, so I called and got no answer. So I played it no mind and just went on with my Sunday. So around 5pm he sends me a text asking me what am I up to?? So I tell him I am out with a friend and thanks for getting back to me 5 hours later. He then goes into this long tyrade about how he has "no obligation to when he has to contact me... and notices that I am controlling and that pushes people away." I respond to him saying I was just trying to be courteous since we allegedly had made plans. (a little background... he often responds to texts messages late or "didn't get them")

So am I being controlling or was I just being too courteous?

Oprah on HIV|AIDS in America

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Finally Oprah does a show where the spread of HIV and AIDS is placed on unsafe sexual behavior. After talking with Magic and Cookie Johnson (yes he still has it, no they don't have any special drugs, and yes they are still having sex), she spoke with 6 women who contracted the disease through heterosexual sex. Most of her questions focused on their life with HIV and why they didn't use protection. There was only a brief clip of Peter Jennings interviewing 'DL' men but the definite message of the show was get tested, be safe, and you can live with this disease.

She is At it Again.... Damn I love her

Naomi Campbell Arrested Again for Assualt

SouthernVoice reports 2 Gay Bashings in Atlanta

Two anti-gay hate crimes alleged in AtlantaWeekend of violence leaves three injured
By Ryan Lee
Taken from The Southern Voice

The Atlanta Police Department is investigating a pair of weekend incidents where individuals were allegedly attacked for being perceived as gay. Officer Darlene Harris, gay liaison for the Atlanta Police Department, said she is investigating two weekend incidents that were reported as anti-gay hate crimes.

Late Friday night, a white male was pulling into his apartment complex on Cheshire Bridge Road when he asked the drivers of two cars that were blocking his parking space to move, according to a police report filed with APD. After he parked, the man was confronted by one of the drivers, who allegedly yelled, “Faggot, you don’t tell me what to do,” according to the police report.

“He then pushed [the victim] to the pavement and said ‘Get up faggot,’” the police report states. The suspect then fled the scene, leaving the victim with scrapes on both of his hands.

Two African-American men suffered more severe injuries when they were allegedly attacked by six or seven men in Southwest Atlanta early Sunday morning. The two men were robbed, beaten and pistol-whipped, resulting in one of the men’s face being covered with bruises, according to a police report.

The men told WSB-TV that they were attacked because the group of men believed they were a gay couple. None of the victims could be reached immediately, but Southern Voice continues to follow the story and will have a complete report in Friday’s edition.

Link to WSBtv.com story

Even though I attempt to get to my desk by 9am... I usually don't begin work till around 1030am. The first hour and a half is usually spent reading emails, reading personal emails, reading the WashingtonPost.com, and various other websites for the entertainment news I have missed out on over the weekend... and when I tell you today my head is spinning.........

1. Jermaine Dupri quits because he is upset that Virgin didn't promote Janet's album the way the should have... umm doesn't that title he has over there give him any clout?? Why are you pissed after the fact.

2. Nicole Scherzinger is going solo... but wasn't she solo already? I mean I thought the other dolls were just there for show anyway.

3. So allegedly Isaiah Washington on my favorite show Grey's Anatomy is a homophobe?!?!?! Apparently in an argument with Dr. McDreamy on the set he was quoted as saying, " I’m not your little faggot like Knight,” referring to a fellow cast member T.R. Knight {George on the show} who recently came out of the closet to People magazine.... innocent till proven guilty even though it doesn't look so good.

4. So Madonna is allegedly going to be on Oprah talking about her recent adoption of the little African boy... I mean why she has to defend herself makes no sense to me but ok....

5. Did you catch the Times write up on my favorite male R&B singer, John Legend (and USA Today's and Rod's post on his November GQ spread)... whose album is in stores tomorrow....

Small World After All...

To say that the past 6 months have been a true testament to my strength and faith would be a slight understatement. So while in DC this past weekend, I took a lot of time out of visiting friends and former coworkers to do a lot of self reflection and thinking with the help of my best friend. The end result was me deciding on concentrating on only 3 things… my health, getting my finances back in order, and making decisions about my career path. Everything else would take a back seat for awhile until I got myself back to my pre Atlanta days… including men and dating.

So believe that events of yesterday evening were quite a surprise. After work I raced to the Sprint store in Buckhead, because my trusty companion and lifeline, my Treo, is dying. It will not charge anymore and although I have backed up the phone on my computer I am afraid of what will happen when the battery finally dies out. As I was awaiting the technician to order me a new phone, this guy walks in with Treo issues of his own. He immediately caught my attention. From the odd smile he gave as he walked in to the way the jeans were fitting… but for some reason this Sprint store (which was about the size of my kitchen) had at least 10 employees buzzing about with only 3 customers in the store. I didn’t want everyone all up in my grill when I spoke so I nodded from a far and as he left I just chucked it up to a lost moment.

Only to my surprise that this wasn’t the first time I have spoken to him or even seen him before and it wouldn’t be the last time I would see him that day. Mr. Sprint store happens to be my neighbor. Long story short… we ended up talking in the parking lot for about half an hour as he walked his dog and made plans to go the movies the next day. Apparently he had noticed me a few months back when I left my lights on in my SUV and had to get a jump, but had only seen me a few times since then. So when he walked into the store he immediately recognized me. He is a full time student and works full time… which I find quite attractive. Seeing someone actively pursuing their goals is such a turn on for me. Anyway still being somewhat new to the area it is always good to meet new people and potential new friends… so we will see how it goes. Stay tuned…

ooooooh before I forget... so you know while you are waiting in a cell phone store for service you always want to peruse the new phones. Well I was checking out the new Treo 700 with windows and was checking out how better the access to the net is... well why when I look in the history of internet explorer the first website I see is adam4adam.com. Welcome to Atlanta!!