Is This Bitch Tryin' to Read

I thought this email I just got from Bally's was worth a kackle or 3.... (my thoughts in red)

-----Original Message-----
From: Cruz, Jesse Jesse.Cruz@Ballyfitness.com
To: ME
Sent: Tue, 11 Nov 2008 1:55 pm
Subject: How are you Charles?

Hello Charles,

We have chosen a new President... Isn't it about time you choose a New You? (whats wrong with the old me)
Change is coming to Washington... Are you ready to change Your Waistline? (is this bitch tryin to read)
You have made a decision for our Country... It's time to make the right decision for Your Life! (so I assume those porkchops last night were the wrong decision)
You cast your vote, now come into Bally!

It is the perfect time for a new beginning... You have been thinking about it long enough! It's time to do something about it! (i like thinking things through before jumping into rash decisions thank you very much)
Print this email for a free personal training assessment, workout profile and group exercise class!

Plus just look at some of the great deals ballys has to offer!!!!
Best start personal training package: Receive 4 one-on-one training sessions with a personal trainer for $149!!! On a budget? (budgets are foor poor people... hell yeah I am on one) Chose from our Selection of value plans starting at $34.99 per month for local club access!!! So many new deals we cant list them all on one page!!! We also have special Unadvertised Membership Plans!!

The time is Now, The person is You, The place is Bally!! SEE YOU AT THE TOP!! (how did you know?!?!)

Larry Kouch
Club Manager
Bally Total Fitness - 1201 Joyce ST. C-6
Arlington, Virginia 22202
P:703-416-5131